Ah, my cynical valentine

Nothing like waking up the day before Valentine's Day to see a rather unromantic note from my lover, publicly displayed on Wednesday's editorial page for the world to see. Well, at least most of our 67,000 readers saw it.

News flash: My husband hates Valentine's Day. Worse, he encouraged other men to oblige its call only begrudgingly.

"Happy wife, happy life," he concluded (stealing a line from a movie). That editorial was a great start, Babe. I'm delirious with warm fuzzies. I feel about as cuddly as the couch I made up for you.

Ladies, before you feel sorry for me, I should defend him a little. As thousands of strangers now know (nothing like making our relationship public to make me happy; you're 0-for-2, Darling) I never get flowers, or generally anything, on Feb. 14. But I do get plenty throughout the year, typically unexpectedly.

And there perhaps is the key: It's not just that he is cheap. Actually, I rather like him that way. It's that he - like so many men - hates to be told what to do and when.

So ladies, if your man seems a little gripey about it (or if you want to hit mine for encouraging cynicism in yours), ask yourself how he may express love the rest of the year. If he does, must we insist it happen today, just because it's socially expected?

But why is it so awful to set aside a day to express love, you may ask? It isn't. In fact, while it's likely the commercial profit that has driven the notion, Valentine's Day has become a broadened concept - not just for romantic love, but also an excuse to express an expansive love to relatives and friends. Take a gander at greeting card aisles today and note those designed for daughters, grandkids, and pals. Everyone needs to hear "I love you."

That's also nice because it takes away some of the depressing aspect of Valentine's former restrictiveness, the in-your-face feeling it can give you when single or unhappy. Love truly means so much more than coupling.

And yes; it means far more than overpriced flowers and fattening candy.

So where does that leave it? With the thought that counts. The reminder to express appreciation and affection, as well as acknowledge both when received, not only today but all year. Our lives and moments in all varieties of loving relationships are preciously limited, so each deserves acknowledgement and appreciation, however and whenever given.

P.S. Love notes are free and last longer.

P.P.S. No, Love; this column isn't a hint. Really.

Sholeh Patrick is a happy wife and columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Contact her at sholehjo@hotmail.com.