Cage Match! Cleaning up Earth Edition
Tom Cruise's sci-fi adventure, "Oblivion," arrives on home video this week, and its story similarities to Pixar's "WALL-E" has triggered another installment of America's third favorite Coeur d'Alene Press recurring entertainment feature - Cage Match!
The protagonists of both "Oblivion" and "WALL-E" are tasked with cleaning up the mess left by apocalyptic calamities. In "WALL-E," an adorable little robot is picking up garbage. In "Oblivion," an adorable little Tom Cruise is repairing the fallout of a near-successful alien invasion.
But any good Cage Match needs a third competitor, and this summer's Will Smith bomb, "After Earth" is close enough in story to be thrown in the ring. It concerns father and son space explorers who crash land on an abandoned Earth where animal life has "evolved to kill all humans." By animals, we mean CGI baboons.
Round 1 - Fixing Planet Earth
Wall-E, with the help of advanced robot EVE, informs the surviving humans that Earth can sustain plant life again, and the physically inert humans return from their spaceship paradise to begin life anew.
Will and son Jaden have no interest in fixing anything in "After Earth." In fact, they can't wait to leave.
"Oblivion," meanwhile has plenty of twists and turns, and it wouldn't be fair to spoil how Cruise's character impacts the planet's future.
Even with that sidestep, the obvious winner here is "WALL-E," but the ending isn't as happy as Pixar wants you to believe. The humans can barely move without the assistance of their hover-scooters, so getting off their butts to plant crops probably isn't going to happen. They'll rely on robots to do the heavy lifting, and with all the work ahead of them, the robots would have every right to revolt and kill all the lazy humans, once and for all.
Round 2 - Love Conquers All
WALL-E and EVE fall in robot love, and it's ultimately their spark that brings civilization back to Earth.
Cruise has competing love interests in "Oblivion" - he's shacking up with his Earth-cleanup partner (Andrea Riseborough) while dreaming of a mystery lady (Olga Kurylenko). Twist! The dreamgirl shows up midway through the film and changes the entire trajectory of the film.
"After Earth," while also being a complete bore, has a strange recurring thread about how young Jaden must ignore all feelings and emotions so that he can overcome fear and stab a giant, fear-smelling alien. Daddy Will is known for being the most fearless warrior in the universe, so it's OK that he treats his son like garbage. Not a lot of love in this movie.
Round 3 - The M. Night Shyamalan Twist Factor
Though it's as poorly directed as most of his other efforts, director M. Night Shyamalan does not include a twist ending in "After Earth," unless you are still surprised by how the guy who made a movie as great as "The Sixth Sense" can make something as soulless and inept as "After Earth."
If you're looking for twists, look no further than "Oblivion," which pulls the rug out from under you at least half a dozen times.
Round 4 - The Scientology Connection
Every Tom Cruise movie invites (unnecessary) comparisons to Scientology, and despite what some say, "Oblivion" contains no overt references to the religion.
"After Earth" has been heavily criticized for containing themes that are similar to the teachings of Scientology, although several experts on the religion have dismissed the random comparisons. Really, the movie is too boring to encourage such careful dissection.
But while Tom Cruise is an outspoken Scientologist, and Will Smith is possibly a secret Scientologist, nobody really knows how many people at Disney and Pixar are involved with the religion. Isn't that a scary thought? For all we know, "WALL-E" is riddled with secret messages about Thetans and alien planets.
Final Result
Wait, what were we doing? Comparing a great movie ("WALL-E") with a decent sci-fi diversion ("Oblivion") and a forgettable bomb ("After Earth"), just because they all take place on an abandoned, futuristic Earth?
"WALL-E" wins by instant knockout. This probably wasn't worth the effort.
Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.