What, it isn't all about me?
There's a careful balance to be struck between thinking of others and taking care of oneself. That applies not just to the larger issues in life, but the day-to-day, the simplest interactions.
American culture, perhaps not alone, is shifting more egocentric. Perhaps I'm just getting old and cranky ahead of schedule, but perhaps not. A recent trip to England showed us what stark differences now exist between our continents of exodus and entry. So much more polite, and by that I mean considerate, not formal, are they.
But I digress. What springs this to mind now is sporadic news of increased narcissism in America, especially among young adults. Articles in Psychology Today reference a book published in 2009, "The Narcissism Epidemic," which concluded the change goes beyond individual traits to the culture at large.
Shortly after the book's release, another continually cited study showed the increase is faster than previously thought. College students' scores on the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) rose twice as fast between 2002 and 2007 as they did in 24 years between 1982 and 2006.
According to NPI statistics, men are more likely to be narcissistic; but don't rest on your laurels, ladies. Women now represent the NPI's more rapidly rising gender. Younger adults are three times more likely to be narcissistic than are those 65 and older to have ever experienced it at all, according to the National Institutes of Health. The NPI scores show Americans today are more materialistic, six times more likely (than 12 years ago) to have plastic surgery, and more likely to go into debt to have "the best right now," rather than wait to earn or afford it. This all from self-rated questionnaires.
Huffington Post columnist and professor Jeffrey Dill suggests modern parents' desire to raise independent children has been misapplied toward autonomy. An autonomic child resists conformity, even to the will of parents or teachers, favoring his own needs above all else. Dill suggests this has led to cultural narcissism by discouraging prioritizing others at least equally to oneself. Instead of the independence parents may have envisioned, the resulting trend is an exaggerated focus on self-fulfillment.
So what identifies the estimated one in 10 American narcissistic personalities? Five "yes" answers to any of the following:
1. You enjoy leading, telling others what to do.
2. You like to be the entertainer.
3. You're a workaholic, perhaps impatient and compulsive.
4. You tell "white lies" to make yourself seem better.
5. You're more stylish, dress better than others.
6. You curse often.
7. You often wait for others to stop talking so you can start.
8. You address your own needs before others'.
9. You rarely feel remorse when you hurt others.
10. You hate being criticized.
11. You seek admiration by devaluing others.
12. You like to drop names during conversation to feel important.
These are just a few items derived from the NPI. Take the NPI quiz at http://Psychcentral.com.
Why are we more egocentric and less compassionate - that is to say, less mindful of others - these days? Perhaps more is less. We have more access to more goods (most of which we don't actually need, if my house is typical), and more ability to borrow for instant gratification. Even information is focused on instant gratification, more data with less quality; accuracy takes time.
Perhaps that's addictive in its way - not to be satisfied with simple lives. Addictions can be overcome. The first step is to admit we have a collective problem.
"It is the preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly." - Bertrand Russell
Sholeh Patrick is a columnist with the Hagadone News Network. Email sholehjo@hotmail.com