MLP: Write badly, not bad

Thanks to the death of her computer (why do laptops live only six years?) and commensurate delay recovering its data, Mrs. Language Person has enjoyed a winter's nap. MLP has the memory of a sieve these days, but now that she can see where she left off, hereby cometh the next round.

Yes; that's "round" as of a boxing match and before I leave the simile, note that the word round may be adjective or noun. Today's topic addresses similar uses and misuses of words in dual function. Regularly misused are nouns masking as verbs.

The most common - so common that it has become generally accepted - is "researching." Back in the days and locales of modern English's origin, "research" was a noun. One could conduct research, read it, request it, or use it. One could not research or be researching, nor was a topic researched. Now, even the Webster and Oxford dictionaries accept it as both verb and noun, so I give up. That round was lost for traditional grammarians.

Will we do the same one day with other verbs, or adjectives used as adverbs? One I see more often now is "referencing." A reference is a noun; to refer is the verb form. One may either make a reference, or refer to something. So far.

How about bad and badly? "Ly" is the ending to describe an action verb. Lose it to describe a "be" verb or noun. I write badly; I don't write bad, but I may be a bad writer and I am bad (at writing, perhaps in general). Textspeak is king (and yes, it's now a word - what isn't?) and only a minority still read, so who cares how badly I write?

Attempted in vain or vanity (and incomplete sentence), back to literacy. Adjectives - e.g., bad, good, fun, poor, insane - modify or describe nouns and pronouns. Adverbs (badly, well, poorly, insanely) modify or describe everything else. Rudolph is a good reindeer; he flies well. When Prancer performed poorly, he looked insane and acted insanely. Good describes reindeer, a noun. Well and poorly describe flies and performed, both verbs. Insane described he, a pronoun, so its adjective form is correct; however, insanely describes acted, a verb, so the adverb form is correct.

The other day Mr. MLP and I had bell duty for the Salvation Army at Fred Meyer. A reader approached and asked MLP to address "and" in numbers and dates. "It's two-thousand-twelve," he said, referring to the year. "It isn't two-thousand and twelve, because 'and' means plus or addition."

True. Without more, 2,000 and 12 could refer to anything or perhaps two different things - days, months, oatmeal cookies... However, MLP suggests that using the same reasoning, referring to the number "one (not 'a')-hundred-and-one" is arguably correct if one means it literally. One hundred plus (and) one equals 101.

If this edition of MLP seems less than definite you're right on cue. Increasingly, word usage and function is like a boxing match. Technique may earn respect, but means little when even rules seem fluid. Whoever is left standing wins.

Round after round our language goes. Where be it stop, no bu-T noz.

Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network, increasingly pessimistic about literacy. Commiserate at sholehjo@hotmail.com.