Confusion at the cemetery

COEUR d'ALENE - Luanne Melior has to believe her father is still resting beneath the giant maple tree at Riverview Cemetery.

She couldn't imagine it any other way.

The tree marked the peaceful spot her family chose in 2002 when they buried the cremated remains of her father, Dara Brown Warren.

"I just knew he'd be happy under there," Luanne Melior said.

But when Luanne and her husband, Pat, visited the site one week ago, they couldn't find his gravestone. Someone else was buried in the plot they thought they had purchased. Only after an hour of searching did they find Warren's headstone - around 100 feet away.

"It's kind of upsetting when you look for your father and he's not there," Luanne said. And that wasn't the worst part. City officials now think they've lost the remains of Dara Brown Warren.

The confusion started after Sunday, April 15, when the Meliors visited Riverview Cemetery. They contacted the parks department the next day and were told city crews had moved the headstone to the proper spot. The spot beneath the tree is for full burials, they were told, which cost around $500 at the time, and not for cremated remains, which cost $200. Records of the purchase show the Meliors did buy Lot 56 for cremated remains, which require only a 2-feet-by-2-feet space and would have been reserved for a spot about 100 feet from the tree.

But Pat Melior was certain that he witnessed cemetery crews bury his father-in-law in 2002 next to the maple. The family had paid $75 so crews could bury the remains at their convenience, and a full ceremony wasn't requested by the family. But Pat Melior waited at the cemetery until the burial took place anyway.

"I sat and waited for four hours and watched," he said.

The lot beside the tree was also Lot 56 - but for full body burials, not urns. The Meliors hadn't visited the site in four years until this month, so when they questioned staff, a lot of time had passed.

According to city records, the headstone was in the right spot 100 feet from the tree; it had been moved after staff noticed the clerical error, documents show. The city maintained Warren was always buried correctly, but when the headstone was placed by the tree, it had been placed incorrectly. Finally, the family wasn't notified when the headstone was moved 100 feet from the tree, and there it sat for four years.

"That's not our normal protocol," Parks Director Doug Eastwood said last week about not notifying family members if crews move headstones. He said it was likely just a mistake by staff who have since retired.

To resolve the matter, the city offered last week to move the buried urn in front of the tree. That lot costs $800 now, but the city said it would do it for free to make up for the mistake. That move was planned for Monday.

But when crews dug up the headstone late last week to be certain, nothing was there. Now, city officials think Warren had been buried by the tree, and the urn was disturbed - either destroyed or displaced - when the full burial was put in years later.

"We feel horrible about this," Deputy City Administrator Jon Ingalls said Monday. The Meliors "have been gracious to work with and we're doing everything from here forward to best mitigate the situation."

Ingalls said the department will review its record keeping methods, though they have improved even since 2002 with the use of more computers. It's the first time such a problem has come up, he said, and Riverview and adjacent Forest cemeteries have had 20,000 burials since the 1880s.

Still, Ingalls said, "This is an area you cannot fail."

The Meliors are moving on. They don't want to sue the city. They're accepting the city's offer to put the headstone, with a flower vase from the city, for Warren beneath the tree. Even after a sometimes tense week of meetings last week with city staff where they had to defend their side of the story, they said Monday they're content having Warren's headstone by the tree.

They don't want to involve the family who buried their family member in the spot the Meliors thought they had. It's over and done with, they said.

"Why put another family through what we're going through right now?" Pat Melior said. "We finally got the apology we were looking for. That's basically all we wanted anyway."

Instead, the family will pay their respects for Warren, who was from western Washington and died in Arizona in 1997, by the tree.

"He wasn't a vindictive man. He wouldn't have wanted us to do anything more than we did ... That wouldn't bring my dad back," Luanne Melior said, adding now that the problem has come to light she doubts any other family will have to go through a similar ordeal. "We would be happy knowing he was at rest under the tree, where he should be. He was a very loving man."