Helping parents see the 'light'

COEUR d'ALENE - They aren't all monsters.

Often times, they're normal parents trying their best to raise a family, but snap in a moment under stress.

Other times, they don't even know they're doing it.

Child abuse can come in many ways, verbal, emotional and physical, but perhaps the biggest misconception people have of child abusers is that they're deranged, evil beings set out on harming the innocent.

In fact, abuse often come from parents who simply buckle under stress. Or they're unaware their words or actions hurt their kids because the parents were raised that way themselves.

"No parent has their children with the intent of hurting them," said Taryn Nichols, family support coordinator at ICARE, the Children and Family Advocacy Center that partners with parents to build stronger families. "It's not in their hearts to harm their child."

But it happens.

Sometimes, it's physical outbursts, but it can be as simple as a parent making what he or she thinks is a joke, like introducing their kids as 'hellions' or 'brats' to people in front of them.

"You can see the light in the child's eyes go down," Taryn said, on the supposed jokes that hurt.

To help parents recognize how to raise healthy families, and in conjunction with National Child Abuse Prevention Month in April, a number of family celebrations, and training seminars will be hosted this week across North Idaho.

The goal is education, or what organizers are calling going from 'darkness to light.'

For example, did you know that the first step of taking care of a child is taking care of yourself? They're called the six protective factors. And they say that parents should have social support groups where they can talk about the stress of raising a family with people in a similar situation. They should also know of the social services they can turn to when the pressure of real life mounts, like transitional housing prospects if they're about to lose their home. Parents prepared and supported are less likely to lash out.

"It's a trickle down effect," Taryn said. "We can pretend we're superman or superwoman for so long before we get to the point we're done."

When parents have the knowledge, skills, and resources they need to care for their children, child maltreatment can be prevented and families and communities are healthier. That's important, because it's not always the cold-hearted monster that hurts a child.

All month long area libraries will be displaying child-themed art show exhibits as well.

Info: ICARE at 676-1515

Join a class

• Tuesday: Stewards of Children Training, 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. at the St. Vincent de Paul HELP Center, 201 Harrison Ave.

• Wednesday: Stewards of Children Training, 6 to 9 p.m. at Kootenai Medical Center. Ruth Willford, an R.N. at KMC and program facilitator, will lead the program. Registration is required at www.kootenaihealth.org or call 666-2030.

• Thursday: Family Celebration at Lakeland Head Start Center.

• Parents Resource Fair from 1-5 p.m., Coeur d'Alene Library Community Room, 702 E. Front Ave. Info: 769-2315.

• April 26, Family Celebration at Shoshone and Post Falls Head Start centers.