Write? Right! Scribblers

The Press is officially looking for the next Ernest Hemingway, Maya Angelou and Ray Bradbury.

Unofficially, we'll settle for a heck of a lot less.

Because of reader prompting and a general malaise among the populace, we've decided to devote space in this section to a writers' corner. It might end up occupying more than a corner; it might end up occupying less. Depends on you, dear writers.

Up front, here's what you'll get out it if your stuff is published: a little local notoriety and the right to say quite truthfully that you've been published. Guys, maybe you'll even get a date out of it. But pay? That's a good one! Might even feature it in our first section on humor.

We all know writing is no laughing matter, and we do intend to take the writers' corner seriously - between snickers, of course. So with the most stern expression and solemn declaration, hear this: We want to read and publish your best stuff, be ye professional, amateur or gelatinous alien.

Poems? Wanted.

Short stories? Wanted. But keep 'em short. Right out here on the newsroom floor we'll burn anything over 1,500 words and do a war-dance around its flickering, faltering, verbose soul.

Micro fiction? Wanted. What the hell is micro fiction, anyway? Maybe the first submission we'll publish will explain the genre to readers, in 50 words or less.

Essays? Wanted. But if they put us to sleep, we might have Bruno put you to sleep.

Limericks? Wanted. Wanted! We recognize limericks as the highest form of written art.

Sermons? Unwanted. All that preachy political and religious stuff already has a home for wayward words on the Opinions page.

Commercials? Unwanted. You wanna promote a product or business, buy a damn ad.

Memoirs? Exceedingly unwanted. If you must subject someone to a detailed account of your meaningless life, take it out on your Aunt Agnes in Altoona, not us.

Being a regular reader of The Press you understand that our standards are not high. But we do have some, so please, put your best effort into your submission.

Send it to:

Mike Patrick, editor

Coeur d'Alene Press

201 Second St.

Coeur d'Alene, ID. 83814

Attn: Writers' corner

Better yet, just e-mail it to mpatrick@cdapress.com.

We think this will be fun not just for writers but for readers, too.

And who knows? Even if we don't discover the next Hemingway or Angelou, we might at least stumble across a man from Nantucket.