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Commitment to tradition

by MAUREEN DOLAN
Staff Writer | December 26, 2011 8:00 PM

COEUR d'ALENE - The men fill their plates first, the women do the cooking, and the males and females eat in separate rooms.

They are traditions initiated more than a century ago; traditions that are still carried on today by a group of neighbors living on the east side of Lake Coeur d'Alene.

They call themselves "Syringa," and they gather once a month to share a meal and spend time with one another.

"No matter the weather, in sickness and in health," said member Bev Twillman.

The group was started sometime in the late 1800s. Initially, the monthly gatherings provided a means for local rural folk to stay in touch with one another even though they were spread out over miles along the east side of the lake, the area now traversed by Highway 97 through the Wolf Lodge and Beauty Bay areas and down through Harrison.

The Syringa group was especially important to its early members during the long, dark, North Idaho winters, Twillman said.

"It is still a wonderful way for local residents to catch up on the gossip, check on one another, and have a good bonding of the community," Twillman said.

The group always comprises about 15 couples, most in their 70s and 80s. Three of those couples recently marked their own commitments to tradition.

Longtime Syringa members, Hal and Myra Sherman, Nicki and Cliff Anderson, and Maryann and George Felden, recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversaries.

At the most recent Syringa gathering, Twillman said members determined that the group represents more than 600 combined years of marriage.

Each month, the Syringa luncheon is held at a different member couple's home.

That's why they keep the membership to about 30, Twillman explained. Most homes are able to accommodate a group of that size.

When members move away, or sometimes when they die, another couple is invited to join.

For the monthly meal, the host family provides the meat, potatoes and bread, and every other attendee brings a vegetable, salad or dessert.

"It's always good food, a lot of homegrown vegetables from peoples' gardens," Twillman said.

Today's Syringa group remains steeped in the customs initiated by early members.

Myra Sherman said the practice of feeding the men first began years ago, when group members would also help the host family with work that needed to be done. It was usually farm work, building, wood gathering or some other heavy job that required many strong hands.

Back in those days, the men would usually retire to the barn to eat and socialize, Twillman said. Without women present, they were free to share some tobacco, corn liquor and "men talk."

The women would remain in the house and eat in the dining room.

Today's male members don't eat in the barn, but they often take their meals in a separate room, Twillman said.

"It's really fun," she said.

The timing of the monthly luncheons is still from promptly at noon to no later than 2 p.m. because many of the early members had to get back to their farms to get chores done before it got dark. Some had a long way to travel, by horse and buggy, over unpaved trails.

Today's Syringa members are longtime, year-round residents of the east side of the lake, where Twillman said the population drops to about 500 residents each winter.

They keep an eye on each other's homes, she said.

"The east side of the lake is sort of its own little community," said Myra Sherman. "We help each other. It's a distance to go to town for supplies, and for emergencies."

Twillman said when Syringa members get together, it's more than chatter. They share stories.

"It's our history," she said. "It's a rich group. They take the time to get to know each other."

They also recognize the importance of tradition, Twillman said: "It formulates who we are."