GOP: Lost in translation

I think it's time to decode some Republican speak...so I decided to list what they say, versus what they really mean.

Extend Bush tax cuts.....borrow 700 billion from China to give to billionaires.

Death tax....we couldn't fool you with estate tax, so this works a lot better.

Fiscal conservative....in the same category as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.

Pro-life....the greatest wedge issue that we have no intention of solving.

Protect states rights....unless they want to count votes in Florida or control emissions in California.

Decry activist judges....it's OK for our judges to enforce imminent domain and allow foreign corporations to buy elections.

Evangelical republican....an easily fooled hypocrite who ignores that Christ told us to help the poor.

Support the troops....unless it comes time to vote for a new GI Bill or increased benefits.

Pledge to America....please forget how bad we tanked the place this last eight years.

Protect the Constitution...unless it comes to wiretapping and those pesky 14th and 1st amendments.

Protect our borders....unless our biggest corporate donors want to hire illegals.

Allow more religion in government....I'm sure Christ didn't mean to overturn the tables in the temple.

Pull yourself up by your own bootstraps....unless your name is Exxon, Shell, or Mobil.

Grass roots....funded by oil barons and Fox News.

Cut government....give the polluters a break, and what's a little lead in our children's toys?

Privatize Social Security....give the money to Wall Street and let the seniors figure it out.

Control Medicare costs....just tell the seniors to hit the emergency room.

FDR hated this country....usually heard while elderly Republican is cashing a Social Security check.

Protect your gun rights....hope you don't notice we have taken the rest of them away.

Guard against Sharia law....now that we don't have the communists around I need you to hate muslims.

Family values...I'm cheating on wife, on my 3rd wife, or seeking gay sex in a public bathroom.

I want my country back....I can't believe we elected a black president.

CHAD SOLSVIK

Coeur d'Alene