My biggest parenting challenge yet

For much of my life I have been the kind of person who couldn't wait for the next bend of the river, what would be over the next rise. This was as true figuratively as it was literally. However, as my oldest has gone on to college, and the girls are graduating in a month then headed off to school this fall, I find myself looking ahead with disappointment and trepidation.

I am especially reluctant to see them begin dating, and being involved in romantic relationships. With the pitfalls, inevitable heartache and handwringing, and no small amount of danger to round out the downside, I'm glad we managed to push this stuff out until they were older than most. We have also been able to keep a handle on who they were with and when.

While they were growing up, every age was my favorite and I was excited for them to grow and revel in their new found abilities, strengths and talents. So you might understand when I say I'm very perplexed by the place I find myself. I'm not sad to see them grow up, as I enjoy the conversation with the adults they are becoming. However, like the vast majority of parents, I do of course miss each of the kids when they are gone.

While I force myself to stay engaged in their dating lives, I am very lucky that my wife has been able to take the lead on this topic, and that she does it so very well. I have only recently come to realize the disadvantage I am under not having been able to date in high school and college. Having experienced this challenge would have better prepared me to help the kids through dating trials and tribulations, but having had virtually no experience as a teenager and precious little as an adult, I'm largely at a loss to offer them practical help.

So instead, I have educated myself as best I can on the challenges kids face and found the best expert advice I can on how to overcome these challenges. I make sure I listen to their hopes for this time in their lives, ask my wife for lots of help, while I communicate my concerns and try to prevent my concerns getting in the way of the kids' growth.

Each parent will likely face at least one challenge, they believe they are ill prepared to overcome. It may be sending a child off to college or the armed forces, it may be preparing a child for the information age, or the early loss of grandparents. When these times come along a parent has two basic choices, hide from the problem hoping it will go away, or begin to read all you can and ask others who have faced a similar issue to educate yourself. You may still have difficulty with the challenge, but at least it will be bearable.

Mark Altman is a speaker and leadership consultant with the Altman Leadership Center. He is an international speaker with two books and a DVD that can be purchased on Amazon.com. He can be reached at mark@leadright.net.