Starting over

Forgiving the man responsible for his paralysis was the easy part for Kyle Mungari.

In fact, the tuft-haired 29-year-old had no trouble listening when his coworker visited him in intensive care and explained how he had driven drunk, even when he knew Mungari had been sleeping in the back seat.

"He made a bad choice, and he has to live with that the rest of his life," Mungari said. "I told him 'Everything's fine, I'm OK.'"

The Coeur d'Alene resident has even managed to keep a jubilant attitude during visits from his fiancee, Tiana Martinez, when they try to focus on his rehabilitation rather than their lack of insurance.

But he knows his cracking point.

He's awaiting it with as much calm as he can, the day when Martinez will eventually truck their children in for a visit. When Mungari has to see his kids, ages 10, 3 and 2, with the knowledge that all of his plans for their lives will have to be amended to include him in a wheelchair.

"That's going to be the truth of the tale, once I see them," he said. "It's easy to feel fine about yourself until everything is put into reality that I'm not going to be able to do the stuff I want to do with my kids."

Two weeks ago, Mungari and his family had been coasting on the end of a wonderful four years. He was one of the longest with his company at Inland Waterproofing Services, and he and Martinez had just bought a two-story home with room for their children and Mungari's out-of-work father.

His work paid well, and allowed Martinez to remain a stay-at-home mother.

In mid-February, he drove to Seattle with some coworkers on a business trip.

When they invited him to wrap up a work day with dinner out, he grudgingly agreed, warning them that as a father his 9:30 bedtime was well ingrained.

As the dinner dragged on late, he told them he would be waiting in the car, and fell asleep in the back seat.

As he dozed, his coworkers continued drinking.

When his two coworkers climbed into the car - Mungari's old friend Tye Williams in the passenger seat, and their coworker Tyler Martin behind the wheel - neither roused Mungari before the ignition started.

"Next thing I know, I wake up paralyzed," Mungari said.

Later visiting Mungari in the hospital, Martin said he had swerved off the road to avoid a deer. The car rolled down an embankment and hit a tree.

Mungari's friend Williams was jettisoned out of the car, while Mungari bounced around like a "ping pong ball" in the back seat, he said.

His back was broken and his spinal cord severed, resulting in permanent lower body paralysis.

"They (the doctors) don't ever want to say it's impossible (I'll walk again). They don't want to put your spirits down," he said. "But medically I'm never going to walk again."

His fiance Martinez remembers waking to the 2 a.m. phone call.

"All they said was they had Kyle in the hospital, he'd been involved with an accident and he wasn't breathing on his own and wasn't responding," she said. "They didn't know if he was going to make it."

Leaving the kids in her mother's care, Martinez grabbed the next flight to Seattle where Mungari was being treated at Harborview Medical Center.

"I walked in and he looked broken, lying there with a ventilator in his mouth," she said.

She's feeling more confident now. He's off the ventilator, and speaks only of getting back to the kids. He was scheduled to start rehabilitation at Harborview on Friday.

His fiancee has stayed with him every day, sleeping beside him in the hospital room, only going home last weekend to check on the kids.

"You have conversations every once in awhile, you know - 'If I ended up in a wheelchair, would you still be with me?' But you never actually think it's going to happen," Martinez said.

But she has no doubts.

"I would never turn away from him for just this reason. I fell in love with the man he is, and he's always going to be the man that he is," she said. "He's stuck with me."

Doctors predict he can come home in four to six weeks. Martinez said she once worked as a medical assistant and is fully capable of caring for him.

The couple - who have been together 10 years, delaying marriage as newborns and big moves took priority - haven't had time to answer all the glaring questions.

Like how to pay the mortgage and bills next month with the family's breadwinner unable to keep his job, which didn't provide medical insurance anyway.

Or how she could find a job in the recession, especially when her only job skills couldn't possibly sustain them all.

"I haven't really thought about it. We're living day by day," she said.

They cling to the fact they're better off than Mungari's friend Williams, still being treated for brain damage at Harborview.

"Pretty much he's just staring into space. He's definitely not the same person right now," Mungari said. "Honestly, it's harder for me to see him than deal with my own issues."

Martin suffered no major injuries, Mungari said.

An account for Mungari and his family has been set up at Wells Fargo. Folks can make donations to account number 1483522866.

Or contact the family at 762-4647.

Mungari said the accident has given him a renewed appreciation for life. Whatever that life might look like.

"I just want to make the best of my time with my kids and family. I came so close to not being with them ever again, and not being able to say goodbye," he said. "I can't be weak in this whole thing. I have to be strong for my family. If I let it go, everybody's going to let it go. And it won't be good for any of us."