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The Front Row with TIM DAHLBERG Feb. 19, 2010

| February 18, 2010 11:00 PM

So just who does Tiger Woods think he is anyway?

Tiger Woods?

Apparently so, which means there are some things a reported stint in sex rehab didn’t change.

Top among them is that Woods still doesn’t get it. The game has changed.

He’s no longer in charge.

That message may not have quite gotten through to the Woods’ camp, though that’s hardly surprising. Judging from the path Woods seems headed down in his public rehabilitation, nothing that has happened since that infamous night outside his Florida home in November seems to bother a team that made millions crafting one image and is now intent on crafting another.

Today the nation is supposed to tune in to watch Woods make a carefully prepared statement in a carefully controlled environment. And the nation surely will, because we’re fascinated with anything that has to do with the shockingly quick downfall of the man who, just a few months ago, was perhaps the most respected athlete in the world.

THOSE LUCKY enough to be invited should bring some tissues. Page 2 on the “I’m So Sorry” list carefully crafted by Tiger’s people clearly calls for the obligatory shedding of tears, both by him and anyone he deigns to be in his presence.

Don’t bring any questions, though. Because Woods isn’t answering.

Not about what really happened that night. Not about his marriage.

Not about why he would kick a sponsor who dropped him by staging his show right in the middle of the golf tournament it still sponsors.

To Woods, it’s still all about being in control. All about calling the shots. He believes he can market his comeback the same way Nike has long marketed his image.

What he doesn’t understand is that this is out of his control. The public has been duped once. Folks aren’t keen to be duped again.

He’s no longer in charge of the message, and with good reason. Woods lied to the media, lied to his fans and deceived people who spent millions buying the products he hawked with a phony image.

Yes, he has every right to come back.

Just don’t sell it to us like some razor blades or shirts with a Swoosh on them.

The campaign began Wednesday with the announcement that Woods would speak before some of his associates and a few selected members of the media. The invited guests are merely window dressing, though, because Woods’ agent made it clear he would not be taking any questions.

Giving the public some insight and information isn’t the intent. This is to market video of a contrite Woods, just like Team Woods released photos Wednesday of him jogging — in full Nike apparel, of course.

It’s been three months since that fateful November morning when his Escalade careened from fire hydrant to tree with wife Elin either in heated pursuit or heroic rescue, and this is the best they can do?

Why not just issue another statement, the way Woods did a few days after the accident. He had little to say save for taking responsibility for the crash. Or the statement a few days later where he admitted “transgressions” and offered an apology, then basically blamed the media for everything except his inability to win the Masters.

Meanwhile, alleged mistresses kept coming forward and new Tiger tales were born. In a few short weeks the transformation from most respected athlete in the world to the punch line of every online and late night joke was complete.

Finally, a third statement spoke of infidelity and said he was taking an indefinite break from golf.

After that, silence and rumors.

There’s no question Woods needs to make an appearance before he can play golf for real again, and he’s not going to miss the Masters, which is coming up in April.

But, if the reaction from a fellow golfer was any indication, he needs to readjust his attitude. Ernie Els was upset that Woods would take the attention away from the Match Play Championship, whose sponsor, Accenture, dumped him.

“It’s selfish,” Els told Golfweek magazine. “You can write that. I feel sorry for the sponsor. Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Friday. This takes a lot away from the golf tournament.”

Soon you can bet Woods will be on with a sympathetic Larry King, or sit down alongside Elin on a couch with Oprah Winfrey or Barbara Walters. It’s the next step toward his public rehabilitation, and it’s an even surer bet that those chasing this interview will agree in advance to make Woods look as good as possible.

Then it’s on to the golf course. Expect Woods to wield his sticks for real next month on the tour’s Florida swing, possibly beginning at Doral on March 11. He’ll walk in the press room, give a brief apology for anything that might have hurt his family or the game of golf, then say the words he’s been itching to say for weeks:

“From now on I’d appreciate that any questions you have for me are about my golf game. I’ve said all I’m going to say about my personal life.”

What Woods still doesn’t seem to understand is that it won’t end things. Not only will the golf media not be nearly as subservient anymore, but the story has long since been hijacked by the tabloids and entertainment shows.

So spare us the tears and the carefully crafted message of family and love. Don’t try for sympathy by saying how tough this has been on your family, and how you hope your wife and children will one day forgive you.

Stand up and answer the tough questions, no matter how painful it might be.

Bring something more to the party Friday than just than a good photo op.

Otherwise, this is nothing more than just another Tiger Woods joke.

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Tim Dahlberg is a national sports columnist for The Associated Press. Write to him at tdahlberg(at)ap.org