Leaving a legacy of giving to kids

It happens sometimes in Little League - come game time, the umpire can't make it.

The teams are in the dugouts, the parents are in the stands, but there is no man in blue ready to call balls and strikes. And then, heads would turn to see who might be able to step in. Who would want to fill this role, sometimes the target of barbs delivered by overzealous parents?

I recall it was a fireplug of a man named Steve Kaufman who sometimes did just that.

Short and powerfully built with massive arms and legs, he would don the protective vest, the shin guards and the mask, crouch behind the catcher, and signal it was time to play ball.

I liked his strike zone, usually loose, giving the pitchers the benefit on close calls. He was serious, but humorous, joking with the players and the parents, eliciting smiles and laughter from those around him. He took charge of the game the way an umpire should, but he also let the players have fun, remembering this is just a game, after all.

My son Ray often played basketball and baseball with Steve's son, Kyle, so over the years, I watched as Steve Kaufman, with his distinctive mustache and goatee, volunteered to umpire and to coach, to help where he was needed. I watched him walk with a big smile and strong strides. I saw him, year after year, show up at games to encourage his children to simply do their best, nothing more.

I didn't know him well. Once, we spoke for a few minutes at a pizza party when our sons' team celebrated the finish of their basketball season. But from what I saw, what I heard, he was a good man who worked hard, who loved his family. He was a person you wanted coaching your kids. He was the type who was passionate about sports, about life and someone who struck me as indestructible.

I RECALL my surprise last year when my son told me his friend Kyle's dad had cancer. The next time I saw him, he was in a wheelchair, still coaching basketball, still encouraging his children, still volunteering.

Then, on Saturday morning, I read his obituary in the Press. Cancer took him quickly. He was 49 years old.

A friend who attended his memorial service wrote this when I made a few calls asking others about Steve:

"We went to the service last Saturday and it was beautiful ... his daughter gave an amazing eulogy ... had written a letter to her dad and not a dry eye in the place. I can tell you both his children loved him dearly and it was all about his kids. He was very much a part of their lives and never missed any of their sporting events, up to the end. He helped coach Kyle's basketball team he is currently on from his wheelchair and never missed one game. The service was a packed house and many of both Kyle's and Kelsie's friends were there to help them through the day."

No surprise so many turned out to honor Steve Kaufman and his family. He didn't hold any public office. He didn't get the headlines. He didn't want them, either. He did what he did because he wanted to be there, to make a difference, not just for his kids, but for our kids, too.

We could use more like him, I thought.

By the way, there's something I should have said to Steve Kaufman but in all those years, never did. So here it is:

Thank you.

Bill Buley is city editor of the Coeur d'Alene Press. He can be reached at 664-8176, ext. 2016, or bbuley@cdapress.com.