'An overwhelming sense of peace’: Coeur d’Alene Catholic church hosts rare Consecration of Widows event

One widow could feel her late husband’s presence as Fr. Len McMillan blessed everyone’s wedding rings.

“I felt like he had touched me on the back of the shoulder during the ceremony,” Robin Mitzelfelt said. “I’ve done that. I’ve felt him touch me, imagined or otherwise. He's here with us as well as Jesus.”

Underneath its teak wood ceiling, with Jesus on the Cross hanging before them, a group of widows from local Catholic parishes on Oct. 3 dedicated their lives to perpetual chastity, constant prayer and service.

With the Diocese of Boise's approval, Coeur d'Alene parish St. Pius X participated in one of the rarest religious practices in the United States: the Order of the Widows, known in Latin as Ordo Viduarum. The only other Catholic dioceses in the nation to have conducted this ancient tradition include Columbus, Ohio, and Lafayette, La.

“When I woke up Sunday morning after Saturday, I felt fabulous,” said Joan Neary, a widow. “I go, ‘I’m married to Jesus.’”

The many widows consecrated that day come from many walks of life, and their devotion to their parish and community covers many bases. 

Mary Higginson runs the food bank and is a Eucharistic Minister. Jennie Courtemanche feeds people in need at the soup kitchen operated by St. Vincent de Paul North Idaho, commonly known as Father Bill’s Kitchen. Neary runs the pregnancy center and helps with Bible study.

“This is not the end of the story as a widow,” said widow Lydia Sequeira. “God wants us to continue our work.”

One consecrated widow, Rosemary McGrath, 91, has been a widow for 35 years.

“At my age, it’s the little things,” she said. “It's that extra little step to take to thank someone.”

According to Fr. McMillan, writing to seek approval for the consecration from the Catholic Bishop of Boise, the Most Reverend Peter F. Christensen, consecrated life dates back to the apostolic era, with consecrated virgins in ancient Judaism.

Fr. McMillian said the consecration is similar to the rite of consecration of virgins but also includes blessing the wedding ring the widow wore in her marriage “as a reminder now of her consecrated widowhood.” 

“These women had a vocation as a wife, and often as a mother, but their final vocation is that of a widow. It is a beautiful witness to our parish of the value and importance that older women bring to our parish,” he wrote. “They are to be living symbols of the desire to continue building a meaningful life, even in the midst of the loss they’ve experienced through their husband’s death. Their lives serve as a public witness that their vocation endures.”

The widows said becoming consecrated is a new season for their lives. They get to offer comfort and spiritual support for people grieving, lonely or in sorrow. They get to serve the sick and homebound. They balance their spiritual dedication with active membership in their communities and families. 

“Each of these women have walked suffering and sorrow,” Higginson said. “They’re doing something so beautiful with their sorrow.”

However, the Consecration of the Widows event earlier this month didn’t include everyone. The widows said on their own, Cheri Franklin, who took her initial vows in March, died about a month before her consecration from Fr. McMillan.

To honor her during the ceremony, they left one chair empty.

When it ended, widow Anita Loutsis Dahmen said she felt “closer to Christ.”

“It’s an overwhelming sense of peace,” she said.

    Fr. Len MacMillan speaks during Mass at St. Pius X Catholic Church in Coeur d'Alene on Thursday.