GAETZ: KCRCC kicks an “own goal” with speaker selection

When I was in college I managed to play on the men’s soccer team. I wasn’t very good, but this wasn’t the kind of college where “being superduper” at athletics mattered. Our soccer coach, a patient man, said, “OK, you have some experience playing American football, but you’ve never played soccer before. Great. Your job is to play defense, and if the ball ever comes near you, just kick the bejeezus out of it back down the field.”

At some point we played Harvey Mudd and we destroyed them, 6 to 1. The problem was that we scored every goal. Yes, that was me, attempting to pass the ball back to our goalie. Instead, I accidentally did a beautiful chip shot over his head and scored a goal. This is called an “own goal” and is (of course) humiliating.

The Kootenai County Central Republican Committee will feature Matt Gaetz as their speaker at this Saturday’s gala. It goes without saying, but this is an “own goal.”

J.D. SAHR

Otis Orchards