A ‘Toy Story’ about the best movie franchise

The original “Toy Story” opened in November 1995. I was 11 years old, watching all sorts of movies (PG-13 ones too! Scandalous!). I didn’t really play with toys anymore, though still held on to those tubs full of Hot Wheels and Ninja Turtles.

“Toy Story,” as a kid, made me feel okay about still being a kid. I loved the movie so much, I didn’t care that it was meant for children, although the various insults flung by Don Rickles’ Mr. Potato Head probably don’t make it into a modern G-rated movie. What are YOU looking at, you hockey puck?

“Toy Story 2” opened in November 1999. I was in high school, more excited about seeing “Magnolia” or “Being John Malkovich” than Disney’s big holiday movie. But I had been gathering a little collection of Buzz Lightyear toys in the four-year-gap from the first movie, so I still wanted to see it as soon as I could in theaters.

“Toy Story 2” broke me, like it broke a lot of people, specifically when that (expletive deleted) Sarah McLachlan song started playing. I’ve seen “Toy Story 2” at least 20 times, and the moment chokes me up every time.

At this point, I realized that Pixar made movies for everyone, not just kids. And that I could love the movies I love unapologetically.

“Toy Story” and “Toy Story 2” mattered so much to me, that, I swear, I basically ended a friendship with someone over it. You see, I stupidly let someone borrow my two-pack DVD set during my senior year in high school. The “Toy Story 2” disc came back to me all scratched. How? You take the disc straight out of the case, into the DVD player then back into the case! How do people scratch these things?

“Toy Story 3” opened in the summer of 2010. I was married, but we wouldn’t have our first child until the summer of 2011. In between the movies, I worked as a writer and film critic. Watched thousands of movies. “Toy Story 3” arrived in the midst of Pixar’s most consistent period in terms of quality. Everybody knows this movie puts people through some near-traumatic drama. The incinerator scene … the way the characters hold each other’s hands. Cinema. Then that ending — when Andy gifts his toys to another child. Perfection.

If “Toy Story” was just a trilogy, then it would be the greatest trilogy of all time.

For that reason, some fans of the films resent “Toy Story 4,” which opened in the summer of 2019. My fears about it “ruining” the trilogy quickly settled once I decided to take all four of my kids to the theater on opening day to see it. Ages 2, 4, 6, and 8 … all laughing hysterically at a confused piece of cutlery named Forky trying to throw himself in the trash.

We obviously watched the first three movies at home as a family, but it felt special to experience this new story in a theater where I first met Buzz and Woody. I also find “Toy Story 4” to be delightful, and it provides the character of Woody with a fitting and resonant exit from the franchise … should Disney continue the series without Tom Hanks.

Now, this summer we have “Toy Story 5.” Woody appears but in a supporting role. Buzz Lightyear, my guy, gets a bulkier arc that plays to Tim Allen’s strengths as a vocal performer. We also get a “high tech” version of Buzz, which means, you guessed it, I get to add new merchandise to my collection. Oh, and Conan O’Brien plays a potty trainer toy who, predictably, earns the movie’s biggest laughs.

More than anything, “Toy Story 5” is a Jesse story – one that ties directly into “Toy Story 2.” Just like that movie in 1999, “Toy Story 5” broke me. It’s a beautiful companion piece and it gives Joan Cusack’s heartfelt vocal performance the spotlight.

I can’t reveal why the movie hit so hard for me without spoiling it. Ultimately, it comes down to watching my kids get older and seeing them stop playing with their toys. It comes at a point where my youngest finally agreed to donate some of his old “Paw Patrol” toys. He hadn’t touched them in years, but he didn’t want to let them go. But recently, he sent the tub into the garage’s donate pile. It’s hard watching kids let things go. And it’s hard for a parent to let things go.

People who know I love “Toy Story” ask me which movie is my favorite. I stopped ranking them years ago. They all mean something to me because they all came at different moments.

I believe all five are objectively great movies. A case can be made that it’s the most consistent franchise of all time. It sits on top of my personal list, and nothing really comes close.