The Exhausted Dad: Thankful for an unscheduled Thursday
Even if I had to cook a full turkey dinner for 100 people, it still wouldn’t be as busy as a typical Thursday schedule for my children.
The stress of a typical Thanksgiving can’t compare to the mental gymnastics my wife and I go through on some Thursday evenings. During the holiday season, the schedule becomes even more insane.
Forgive me if I’ve ranted about this before, but someone needs to stop scheduling every school/afterschool/extracurricular activity for Thursday evenings. Families with multiple kids (like four kids, just as a random example) can’t attend all these events at the same time. We barely accommodate the transportation!
On more than one Thursday evening this past fall, each of my four kids needed to be at a different location at the same time. Gymnastics, marching brand practice, a cross country meet and a Girl Scouts meeting all required transportation (coming/going) within 15 minutes of each other, locations miles apart.
The children’s devoted parents still found a way to accommodate everything, without a single speeding ticket, no less.
While we’ve relied on others to occasionally provide transport to conflicting events, the holiday season presents its own challenges. Our kids don’t want either of their parents to miss their school holiday concerts. Unfortunately, with four kids attending three different schools, there aren’t enough Thursdays in December to accommodate these events without conflict.
I’ll say again: Schedule stuff on other days!
Sure, nobody likes Mondays, but peppy holiday music certainly wouldn’t make a Monday worse. Nothing about Taco Tuesday precludes my family from attending an event before/after our requisite taco consumption, and none of my kids work in local government either, so, hey, no worries about missing that city council meeting. As for Wednesday … I personally think an evening event would be the perfect way to end hump day and begin building anticipation for the weekend. Let’s make Wednesday the new Thursday!
Just leave Fridays alone. I didn’t enjoy sacrificing Friday nights to go sit in the cold at a football game just to watch my daughter perform the same marching band routine week after week.
Otherwise, let’s spread this seasonal cheer around a bit, because I can’t attend an elementary school choir concert at the same time as my middle schooler’s orchestra performance. Especially if it also happens to be on the only day/time my youngest son’s favorite gymnastics class is offered.
And I’m just telling you right now, employers of myself and my wife: No (expletive deleted) holiday parties on Thursdays. We won’t be there.
Of course, I know I’m already too late in asking for these scheduling accommodations. As expected, we’ve got two holiday concerts happening at the same time, just like each of the last three years. That means my wife and I will split up and try to record bits and pieces of each performance for the other parent to watch later. We’ll record these videos from the back row of the auditorium/gymnasium, because we won’t arrive 30 minutes early to secure a prime, center-front seat. Basically, every single movie theater in the country converted to stadium-style seating, but the memo hasn’t reached the school auditoriums yet. So get ready to enjoy a blurry, sound-crackling version where a guy in a cowboy hat blocks most of the view of the stage.
Why are there people wearing cowboy hats to indoor holiday concerts? And how are they always sitting directly in front of me? Are you coming in directly from the range or the dude ranch? Are you needing to keep the auditorium spotlights out of your eyes? Who are these people? Because even in rural North Idaho, I’m seeing more trucker-style hats than cowboy hats. Also, if you stand more than 6 feet tall, you should be required to remove your hat inside. Or stand in the back. You’re already too tall and some of these hats seem to add six to eight additional inches. Are you wearing an oversized cowboy hat? Did you have that hat properly fitted by a professional cowboy hat-sizer?
Anyway, Thursdays are busy.
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Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer, an attorney and a parent to four kids, ages 8-14. He is tired. He can be reached at [email protected].
The Exhausted Dad