The Exhausted Dad: Bro’s choice weekend — mostly just french fries
With all his siblings away, my 8-year-old son took full advantage of his short-term decision-making powers.
The youngest of four, my son lacks the patience to go and cheer on his siblings for various extracurricular activities. He doesn’t like sitting in one place for longer than 15 minutes, and he especially hates sitting on uncomfortable bleachers to watch high school band or any type of event involving a sports ball.
This past weekend, my oldest daughter had a marching band competition out of town, so while my wife took our other two kiddos to that event, my 8-year-old and I stayed home to party. “Party” to an 8-year-old means me saying yes to most reasonable requests. Luckily, this particular 8-year-old is a connoisseur of simple pleasures.
The two “big asks” of the weekend: 1. Go to Dave and Busters; and 2. Watch a “Spider-Man” movie.
No offense to the new Dave and Busters in the Spokane Valley, but I’m not the biggest fan of “loud sports bar with loud arcade games and loud children (and adults) playing said loud arcade games.” My son was especially excited about the arcade having a “Mario Kart” game. Brother, we got “Mario Kart” at home, and I can mute the volume too.
Anyway, the booming and screeching proclamations of glee inside the walls of Dave and Busters matched the energy of an 8-year-old who just wanted to ride a fake motorcycle and naively pretend he can beat me in Skee-Ball and air hockey. He even battled Godzilla in VR, and, well, I don’t think he cared when I told him I thought Godzilla was misunderstood. He exploded the poor lizard, anyway.
What did he eat at Dave and Busters you ask? Mac and cheese with a side of french fries, of course. The meal consisted of 33% of what the kid typically eats! What a deal!
The night before, he chose McDonald’s for dinner so he could get a Boo Bucket and eat french fries. After Dave and Busters, I wanted to stop for an iced coffee, and the boy used the opportunity to ask for more french fries.
For dinner on Saturday, after already consuming french fries twice that day (and three times in 24 hours), my son pressured me into getting Wendy’s. Because “the fries are different there.” Did you know that at Wendy’s, when you buy a value meal, you can choose a Frosty as your “beverage?” So milk, juice, soda or ice cream. Not exactly a tough decision for a third grader.
Sunday morning, mere hours before the rest of the family returned home, the boy conned me into more McDonald’s … this time for breakfast. The hash browns count as another type of fries, in my opinion.
I also followed through on his second big request of the weekend: Watching “Spider-Man.” He wanted to watch a “Spider-Man” movie he hadn’t seen before, which meant he wanted to watch one of the lame ones I purposefully haven’t shown him. I’m so nice, we ended up watching “Spider-Man 3,” “The Amazing Spider-Man” and “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” over the weekend. All three continue to be, you guessed it, the three worst “Spider-Man” movies. But hey, he enjoyed them.
With his siblings getting to do fun stuff out of town like swim in a hotel pool and visiting a baby cousin, I wanted to give my youngest some version of a “Yes Day” just on the off chance he regretted not wanting to go on the trip. He ended up having a blast, because what 8-year-old wouldn’t like eating almost exclusively french fries for 48 hours.
I probably shouldn’t have tried to match his fry consumption. My cholesterol definitely took a hit this weekend.
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Tyler Wilson is an attorney, a freelance writer and parent to four children, ages 8-14. He is tired. He can be reached at [email protected].
The Exhausted Dad