BELIEF: Learning and listening

I was raised to believe certain things — especially about LGBTQ+ people — that I now know were rooted in fear, misinformation, and control. For the first few decades of my life, I didn’t question it. I thought love came with conditions. I thought “acceptance” meant people had to change to be worthy of it.

But I’ve changed. I chose to unlearn. I chose to listen.

What I’ve learned is that true support for your LGBTQ+ child or loved one isn’t just about one big moment — it’s about what happens after. It’s in the name you use. It’s in how you show up, especially when it’s hard. It’s in how you choose love over comfort.

I’ve seen too many parents start strong, then slowly back away. They slip back into old habits. They stop saying the pronouns. They start acting like their child’s identity is a phase or a problem to fix. That isn’t love. That’s control.

If that stings a little — good. That’s where growth begins. It’s OK to be learning. It’s OK to be uncomfortable. But it’s not OK to make your child feel like who they are is too much.

To LGBTQ+ kids out there: you are not broken. You are not “too much.” You are not the problem. You are worthy of real, unconditional love — whether it comes from your family of origin or the family you choose.

And you deserve nothing less.

SHELLY HUGGINS

Post Falls