ADVERTISING: ADVERTORIAL - Estate planning when your children live in different states

As an Idaho estate planning attorney, I work with many families whose children have scattered across the country. One daughter in Texas, a son in Oregon, another child who settled in Florida. This geographic spread is increasingly common, and it creates unique considerations for your estate plan. If this sounds like your family, here are some things to think about.

Choosing the Right Personal Representative

Your personal representative (called an executor in many states) handles your estate after you pass. If you are using a trust, then the equivalent position is called your successor trustee. When your children live in different states, deciding who this should be becomes more complicated than simply naming your oldest child (which is not always the best choice anyway).

Idaho allows out-of-state personal representatives, but practical challenges exist. Someone managing your estate from across the country will need to handle local tasks: meeting with attorneys, accessing safe deposit boxes, dealing with real property, and potentially appearing in court. Consider whether your chosen representative can realistically travel to Idaho when needed, or whether naming someone local makes more sense. This also may be a reason to consider using a trust, which could alleviate the need to appear in court – solving at least one of these issues.

Some families solve this by naming co-personal representatives, perhaps one local person and one out-of-state child. This approach has tradeoffs. It can provide helpful oversight and distribute the workload, but it also requires coordination between two people and can slow down decision-making.

Powers of Attorney Deserve Extra Attention Too

Your financial and healthcare powers of attorney allow someone to act on your behalf while you are alive but incapacitated. If your designated agent lives in another state, think carefully about how this will work in practice.

Financial institutions can be particular about accepting powers of attorney, and an out-of-state agent may face additional hurdles. Healthcare decisions often need to happen quickly, and geographic distance can complicate communication with medical providers.

One option is naming a local primary agent with your out-of-state child as a backup. Another is ensuring your out-of-state agent understands they may need to travel to Idaho on short notice. One point I like to make with my clients is that while proximity is a factor, it is not so important that you should pick someone nearby who will do a poor job if you have the option of using someone more competent who lives further away. An experienced estate planner can help you try to strike the right balance with these choices. Whatever you decide, make sure your agents have copies of these documents and know where to find the originals.

Real Property in Multiple States

Property in multiple states can trigger probate proceedings in each state, a process called ancillary probate. This multiplies legal fees, delays, and headaches for your heirs. Depending on your situation, tools like living trusts can help avoid this. The right approach depends on the specific properties involved and your overall goals.

Tax Considerations Vary by State

Idaho has no state estate tax, which simplifies matters for Idaho residents. However, if your children live in states with inheritance taxes (which are different from estate taxes), they may owe taxes on what they receive from you. Only a handful of states tax inheritances received by beneficiaries, and the rates and exemptions vary.

This generally isn't something you can plan around, since this type of tax follows the beneficiary, not the estate. But understanding these differences helps set realistic expectations for your children about what they'll actually receive.

Communication Matters More Than Ever

With children spread across the country, clear communication about your estate plan becomes essential. Misunderstandings are more likely when family members can't easily gather in person to discuss matters.

Consider having a family conversation about your plans, even if it happens over video call. Explain your reasoning for key decisions. Make sure each child knows where to find important documents and who to contact when the time comes.

Review Your Plan Regularly

Family circumstances change. Children move. Relationships evolve. An estate plan that made sense five years ago may not fit your current situation. If a child who was your local contact has moved away, or if family dynamics have shifted, it's time to revisit your documents.

Moving Forward

Estate planning for geographically dispersed families requires balancing practical logistics with your wishes for how your assets should pass to the next generation. There's rarely a one-size-fits-all answer.

If your children live in different states and you're wondering how this affects your estate plan, it's worth having a conversation with an attorney who can look at your specific situation. The goal is creating a plan that works smoothly for your family, no matter where life has taken them.

My law firm is currently offering free telephonic, electronic, or in-person consultations concerning probates and probate alternatives, creating or reviewing estate planning documents, and guardianship/conservatorship procedures for incapacitated adults.

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Robert J. Green is an Elder Law, Trust, Estate, & Guardianship Attorney and the owner of Kootenai Law Group, PLLC in Coeur d’Alene. If you have questions about estate planning, probates, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, guardianships, Medicaid planning, or VA Benefit planning, contact Kootenai Law at 208-765-6555, [email protected], or visit www.KootenaiLaw.com.

This has been presented as general information and not as legal advice. Do not engage in legal decision-making without the advice of a competent attorney after discussion of your specific circumstances.