The Exhausted Dad: Start of high school and the (former) stay-at-home dad
The first day of school can be an emotional, existentially devastating day for parents.
Two of my hardest days as a parent involved school drop-offs. The first was the day I dropped my oldest daughter off to her first day of kindergarten. She was so excited to get in line for class she barely even looked back at me as I waved and swallowed a flood of tears.
The second-hardest day happened three years ago, when I took my fourth kid (our youngest) to his first day of kindergarten. My last baby went to school, officially ending my tenure as a stay-at-home dad. I started law school that same fall, so I felt like my entire world changed. It didn’t help that I was the old guy going to law school with all the 20-something whippersnappers.
This year, I added a new hardest day to my parenting career, though I didn’t expect to be so emotional about it. My two oldest kids started at new schools — my oldest daughter started high school and my oldest son started middle school.
I expected to feel sour about the high school drop-off. As my first kid, I’m still struggling with the fact that she’s almost as tall as me and wants to talk about “Grey’s Anatomy” rather than Barbie. The nerves of starting at a giant high school spilled out as various teenage explosions over the last days of summer. Sometimes I think she doesn’t want to grow up more than me not wanting her to grow up. She lost her mind about a missing calculator and the ring size of the various binders she needed. High drama everywhere. Good thing she won’t be driving for a couple more years!
When I dropped her off at the school, she saw her best friend waiting for her by the flagpole. She rushed out of the car almost as fast as she ran off on that first day of kindergarten. She didn’t look back. I sat there again, holding back tears, wishing there was just a little more time.
After putting myself back together, I returned home to pick up my son to take him to his first day of sixth grade at the middle school. He’s a quiet kid, so he didn’t express much nervousness or excitement about it. Still, I could tell he felt on edge. His best friend wouldn’t be attending the same school with him, so he didn’t have someone to meet at the flagpole.
And, look, I question whether I should print this, but he’s a skinny little guy! When he jumped out of the car and joined the rest of the kids outside the school waiting for the bell, everyone towered over him! I lost him almost immediately. I only spotted him again because I saw his backpack, which is comically 10 times larger than my son. He looked like he packed for a multi-day trek in the Himalayas!
He caught my eye, waved and smiled. And I lost it again. It may not be the easiest of days for him, but I knew he’d be OK. He’s more resilient and stronger than I ever was in middle school. Somehow, even at his young age, he feels comfortable being himself. He figured that one out himself. No superlative parenting required.
Now, I’m sitting at my desk, attempting to embark on a new career. All I can think about is the old one. The one with all the diapers and tantrums and sleepless nights. I’d go back to it all in a second. This version of me, sitting in an office, pretending to be the “mature, working adult” never really made sense before I had kids, and it feels equally strange now that they don’t need me to take care of them for every hour of the day.
Tomorrow will be better though. Second days of school are always easier. Change is good. Kids are born to grow. It’s a new chapter with plenty of its own joys and challenges. Did I mention the teenage daughter in high school and the Great Binder Explosion of August 2025?
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Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer and parent to four kids, ages 8-14. He is tired. He can be reached at [email protected].
The Exhausted Dad