Boomer Blast
This all began when I was scraping peeling paint off a railing. I was happy that I got a really large area in one putty knife swipe and thought, "There's a big hunk." I smiled in recollection that those words may once have meant "a really buff guy on the beach."
I had fun coming up with more changes, mostly from a female's view. No doubt you have heard many of these before. They may have popped up from a storage folder in the recesses of my brain.
| THEN | NOW |
| Feeling groovy | Looking at my face in the mirror |
| Getting a squeeze | Pulling on last year's pants |
| Hanging out | Wearing last year's pants |
| Popping the question | Where did I put my phone? |
| Feeling "hot" | Literally feeling hot |
| Going for a cruise | Going back to the hardware store, as you got all but what you went for |
| Gossiping with friends | Sharing health woes |
| Getting a cuddle | Your cat just jumped onto your lap |
| My monthly | Clipping my toenails |
| Not turned on | Hearing aids |
| Right on | "I didn't leave the light on" |
| Living dangerously | Eating spicy foods |
| Letting loose | Letting one rip after eating spicy foods |
| Future planning | A long grocery list |
| Seeing things more clearly | Are those socks blue or black? |
| Clearing the air | Opening the bathroom window |
| Surprise | Finding my third cup of coffee in the microwave at dinnertime |
| Falling for you | Falling toward you |
| Getting dolled up | Not wearing sweats |
| Feeling free | Removing my bra the second I get home |
| Can't get your name off my mind | What is your name? The alphabet's no help |
| Superpower | Getting up from a squat |
| Piece of work | Done on various body parts |
| Arachnophobia | Arachnophobia |
| Going places | After I find where I parked my car |
| The great debate | Now which pocket did I put my keys in? |
| Getting lucky | Winning $2 on a $1 scratch-off |
| Having a great night | Getting eight hours of sleep |
•••
Diane Barron is a Kootenai County resident.