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THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: A's moving to Vegas might be a bit of a gamble

| May 31, 2023 1:24 AM

I confess to total bias, Your Honor.

It’s a matter of birthright.

I was born and raised in San Francisco, and then my family moved 14 miles south — to a home in the hills that had an unobstructed view across the bay.

We could see the Oakland Coliseum every day (fog willing), and never stopped disliking it.

Once I became a sports journalist, I wound up covering the Kansas City Royals (and occasionally the Chiefs), so we were forced into that dreadful Coliseum over and over.

It’s a miserable place, with poor seating for both sports, and night baseball in July was cold enough that it felt a bit like trekking along with the Iditarod from Nulato to Unalakleet.

In a golf shirt and shorts.

Envying the dogs.

The A’s arrived at this godforsaken place in 1968, with a good young team that hadn’t yet matured.

So, in the early ‘70s, there routinely were “crowds” of less than 5,000.

With the Giants already established and wildly popular across the bay, you had to wonder quite seriously if baseball in Oakland was such a good idea.

NOW, WE come to that same discussion.

The A’s, in the meantime, have been World Series champions, the stars of “Moneyball,” and eventually back to awful.

Worse than awful.

When your futility is mentioned in the same sentence as the 1899 Cleveland Spiders (20-134), you’ve flown right past hapless to something even sadder.

Heading into Tuesday night, the A’s were 11-45 and appear to have a legitimate shot at the “modern” record for hopelessness, held by the 1962 Mets (40-120).

Those Mets had an honest excuse, as a first-year expansion team.

On the other hand, this current Oakland bunch might claim a different exemption to the record books — since owner John Fisher has unloaded almost every useful player in an effort to get out of town.

Fisher says the city won’t negotiate in good faith as he tries to build a stadium inside a massive commercial complex at the Howard Terminal site on the waterfront.

The city, unsurprisingly, accuses Fisher of exactly the same thing.

While all this unpleasantness goes back and forth — and the woeful A’s continue to lose in front of crowds smaller than a rural church service — it becomes more and more likely that Fisher (and MLB) will get their wish.

Las Vegas.

Frankly, as much as I dislike baseball at the Coliseum, and accept that there will be no compromise agreement in Oakland, I suspect that a move to Vegas could be, well …

Like a lot of people’s trips to the place.

A loser.

Somehow, Fisher believes that if local authorities in Clark County and the state of Nevada will give him $350 million, he’ll be thrilled to build a vast entertainment complex right off The Strip that’s worth $1.5 billion.

Fisher believes that locals around the Las Vegas metro — plus those zillion tourists who show up day and night — will fill his 30,000-seat stadium.

You know, because there’s nothing else to do in Vegas except watch a ballgame.

IF YOU believe John Fisher’s theory on getting rich in Vegas …

I’ve got a story for you.

The Royals now conduct spring training in Arizona, but they used to play exhibition games at a basically deserted complex in Florida called Boardwalk and Baseball.

It was a multi-use facility that was fine for a team working out, but it sat next door to a closed, forlorn-looking amusement park.

We used to call it: “Boarded-Up and Baseball.”

The original plan had been to draw baseball fans and families looking for a Ferris wheel to this site several miles west of Orlando.

Unfortunately, the complex was only about 15 minutes along the interstate from Disney World.

One afternoon, as we stared back at the place through a bus window, Royals broadcaster Fred White mused … “You know, there actually was a day when somebody thought about this place, and decided …

“‘I’m going to kick that mouse’s ass!’“

DO YOU see the parallel?

Vegas might be a decent home for a hockey team (which didn’t move from someplace else), although broadcast rights fees have dropped 25 percent since the Golden Knights first faced off in 2017.

The NFL?

It could be a wild success in Pocatello, with just eight or nine home games and a staggering national TV package.

In Vegas …

Shoot, you can watch the Raiders lose and still have time to hit the casino.

But baseball, with 81 games?

Only Celine Dion sold out that many nights.

There are several metro areas more suitable for a move, places larger and more enthusiastic than Vegas – which is the country’s 42nd-largest TV market.

FYI, Grand Rapids/Kalamazoo is No. 39.

Frankly, I’m suspicious that commissioner Rob Manfred is tanking just like Fisher.

I wonder …

You don’t think it has some connection to baseball’s new and lucrative partnership with the gambling industry, do you?

Nah.

Although …

You can go see David Copperfield at the MGM Grand, and he’ll pull a baseball team out of his coat pocket.

“Look, Gladys, it’s the Cleveland Spiders!”

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”