Being authentic a big part of being free

Sometimes when two concepts chance to combine, what emerges leads to clearer vision. Then you wonder how you missed the glaringly obvious.

There’s a lot of talk these days about being “authentic.” To those of us over 30 — OK, over 50 — it just feels like the latest fad. Another cultural buzzword to banter about which doesn’t really mean anything new, destined to one day fade in favor of the next. Like “keep it real” and “cool.”

That’s Concept One.

Concept Two: Pride month. Yes, I said the P-word and no, this isn’t about politics. Sunday, as I was watching a parade of everyday-looking, smiling people toting rainbow flags and festive balloons in every color, I thought a lot about freedom.

How important and indescribably joyful it is to feel free to just be. To be comfortable to be you as you are or to be me as I am or to be whoever as they are. Without needing to believe or dress or talk or pretend or act differently just to please or placate anyone else, from parents to bosses to communities. Sometimes, to avoid being attacked or treated differently simply because of who you know you are.

That’s what freedom means.

And it hit me, thick, slow-witted thing that I am: That’s exactly what authentic means.

This “be authentic” thing is no mere semantic fad. It’s an evolution. A clearer understanding and, perhaps, a call for the cultural freedom to simply be ourselves. Not a filtered version or a socially acceptable version or even a popular version of how others want to see us, but the pure self we are when we get up each morning before any of that can be layered on.

To be honest — with self and others. To accept honesty in others.

To know and express oneself without changing to make certain impressions.

To choose our own identities, not have others choose it for us. And conversely, to accept others as they are and not try to define them. That includes accepting the differences in how we see one another, as it evolves.

No fake, and no expecting fake (however rephrased in judgmental terms). Respect and acceptance are what everyone wants for themselves, and they only work when they’re mutual.

The test for American culture is going to be how well we put “being authentic” into practice. Being authentic and allowing others to be authentic also means accepting one another at whatever messy phase we may be in life, and that includes being able to disagree about this — as long as we aren’t preventing someone else from being who they are. That’s a biggie.

On reflection, that’s exactly how love works in a family. Putting love into practice is something to be proud of.

Finding that balance and not continuing to just yell at one another or further segregate the country is the tricky part. But taking a purist’s mutual approach to total authenticity might, just might, give us hope.

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Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Email sholeh@cdapress.com.