THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: A Mariner we hardly knew, and a cheap shot in Seattle

OK, finally …

Let’s do that “Notes and Quotes” column that seems to stay on the back burner while items considered more newsworthy bully their way into our fine publications.

In fact, we might have to do a couple of these things, because all sorts of fun snippets (and a few that have left me steaming) keep popping up.

Let’s start with one of the most bizarre leftovers from the Chiefs-Bengals AFC title game last Sunday.

Several talking heads have come up with the oddest comparison, but for a reason you’ll understand shortly, I’m singling out longtime TV personality (“Pardon the Interruption”) and podcaster Tony Kornheiser.

Tony is an otherwise bright guy who sometimes wanders out of the linguistic universe, and he did it when assessing Kansas City’s 23-20 victory.

“I believe Joe Burrow is the best quarterback in the NFL,” Kornheiser said, “but Patrick Mahomes is the best football player.”

Sorry, but …

Is Mahomes now playing slot receiver?

Maybe he’s the long snapper?

For a “non-quarterback” (compared to the gifted Burrow) limping around on a badly sprained ankle, though, Mahomes managed to throw for 326 yards (29 of 43) with two TDs and no picks.

Kornheiser was half-right, at least.

Mahomes is damn sure the game’s best football player.

And with apologies to Burrow, Patrick is also the best quarterback.

Do I even need to say “obviously”?

Now then, moving along …

ITEM: I mentioned a few paragraphs back that I chose Kornheiser specifically for that little wrist-slapping, even though so many others with less understanding of football (or the language) made the same blunder.

Seriously, I like Tony, and the PTI show he co-hosts with Michael Wilbon is a cut above most of the dross that’s being passed off as "sports entertainment” these days.

However …

From time to time while covering college sports — basically football and basketball — the subject comes up about a school having a particularly soft schedule because of its conference.

Then, when we get to football bowls or the NCAA tournament in hoops, teams outside the bigger conferences sometimes don’t live up to their glossy records.

Whenever it happens, and the non-marquee team loses, its coach might say something like: “I wish we’d had a chance to play a tougher schedule and be better prepared.”

Now here’s my beef …

Almost EVERY time that subject comes up, Kornheiser parrots the same line.

He calls it: “The Gonzaga Excuse.”

You know, because the Zags whip up on the WCC (except this year, perhaps), and then “embarrass themselves” in the NCAA shootout.

Memo to Tony Kornheiser: Gonzaga certainly needs NO excuses whatsoever.

The Zags have played in two of the last five national title games, and their streak of reaching at least the Sweet 16 for the past seven tournaments remains the longest in the nation.

C’mon, Tony, do your homework.

ITEM: I’m wondering if Jason Vosler even bothered to unpack his bags.

Exactly one week ago, the Mariners signed the defensively versatile, 29-year-old Vosler to a minor-league contract — but with plans to include the left-handed hitter in their big-league plans at spring training.

Vosler had been non-tendered by the Giants, despite being a useful player in 36 games last year, producing a slash line of .264/.342/.469 after being called up from Triple-A.

That a 127 wRC+ (a statistic that measures the runs created by a player, taking into account different league factors, with 100 being MLB average).

Small sample size, but still …

Vosler also has played respectably at both first and third base, spots where Seattle admittedly will need someone to give an occasional rest to Ty France and Geno Suarez, respectively.

All good, until …

Three days after Vosler signed, the Mariners released him.

So far, there’s been no official explanation from player nor club.

Sources in Seattle, though, have suggested that situations like this sometimes come up when a player who will be fighting for a roster spot gets offered a guaranteed deal overseas — most likely in Japan or Korea.

Round of applause for Vosler if that’s the case, but …

Couldn’t he have waited a couple of days, until he heard back from that club in the Orient, before signing with the Mariners?

No?

Well, bless him, then.

ITEM: This next little snippet makes me hot.

Not happy hot, either, but more like steam visible as it rises from an angry dome.

The Kraken (29-15-5) have been one of the major surprises in the National Hockey League so far this season, sitting atop the Pacific Division with multiple games in hand against Vegas and Los Angeles, their closest challengers.

Among all the other exciting developments for the Kraken, 20-year-old center Matty Beniers has emerged as the leading candidate for the Calder Trophy (rookie of the year).

Beniers has 17 goals and 19 assists in 47 games, and he was the Kraken’s only selection (boo!) for the NHL All-Star Game this weekend in Florida.

Unfortunately, Beniers suffered a concussion last Wednesday night, when he was blindsided far away from the action by Vancouver defenseman Tyler Myers.

Beniers did not clear the league’s concussion protocol in time for the final two regular-season games prior to the All-Star gala this Saturday — nor was he considered recovered enough to represent the Kraken as their lone representative at that event.

FYI, apparently no one at NHL headquarters in Toronto has heard much about the other Kraken, who – as a group – have scored the fifth-most goals in the 32-team league.

Beniers was replaced as a Western Conference All-Star by Vegas’ Chandler Stephenson.

Meantime, Kraken coach Dave Hakstol and GM Ron Francis have responded angrily to the NHL taking no disciplinary action against Myers, who received a two-minute penalty for interference — and that’s it.

Among other things, there is a perceived lack of consistency from the NHL in doling out punishment for cheap and/or dangerous play.

Stars seem to get away with far more (illegal) rough stuff – which, of course, doesn’t help the Kraken.

There are hockey officials and pundits all over the eastern U.S. and Canada who likely don’t even know the Kraken are leading a division, let alone the fate of a kid like Beniers.

Hakstol, by the way, called Myers’ hit “garbage.”

The regional rivalry between the Kraken and Canucks was heating up BEFORE Myers’ cheap shot, so you can imagine how Seattle might handle it now.

Hoo, boy!

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press four times each week, normally Tuesday through Friday unless, you know, stuff happens.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”