The power of politeness

A pompous and arrogant customer in an antique shop was making the owner drag out fragile, old pieces, and then commenting on their poor quality and high prices. After about an hour, she looked at her watch and said she had to go.

"I suppose you think I'm a nuisance, just trying to pretend that I know what I'm talking about," she said.

The owner bowed graciously. "If you say so," he said. "In my shop, the customer is always right."

Being polite is good business. If your mother was anything like my mother, polite was her middle name. Please and thank you were just the beginning, followed by respect, tact, patience and consideration. Today, I consider myself incredibly fortunate that she and my dad took such pains to impart such values to my sister and me.  

Politeness never goes out of style or out of date, although lately, I'm seeing less and less of it. Business in general has become more impersonal. People have become less concerned with the long-term ramifications of their actions.

People now do business on their cellphones, the internet and email. There is little pressure to be polite, just businesslike and efficient. Sadly, it soon becomes the rule rather than the exception. Sooner or later, you have no other choice than to put up with it.

I suspect some of the problems have been made worse by the pandemic lockdowns, when personal contact was rare. News flash: That phase of life is over. We need to remember how to interact in person.

The quality of customer service is falling to an all-time low. A prime example is the telemarketer who calls at a time most likely to interrupt your dinner, hawking a product that precious few people are likely to buy over the phone. How many of you have actually bought siding/phone service/mortgages/credit cards or similar offerings from an unknown faceless solicitor who doesn't have the decency to ask if you're busy? Is this what business has become?

Well, business may have changed, but people haven't. They still have feelings, and they'd like a little consideration. The best part is that it's so easy to do. (And free!)

I'd like to start a campaign to return politeness to business. I'd like the folks on the other side of the counter to see me as more than just another account. I don't necessarily want to get personal — I just want to be a person. I would like to leave the transaction feeling like a valued customer who is worth their best behavior. And I will return to the establishments that demonstrate their interest in serving the customer.

Exhibiting politeness does not make a person appear to be weak or wimpy. Rather, it demonstrates that person's maturity and ability to appropriately respond to business situations. Who would you rather have working for you — the sales rep whom customers look forward to dealing with or the bulldozer who'll stop at nothing to get the order?

Recently, I failed to RSVP for a party even though I knew I could not attend. The invitation sat on my desk for days, and I simply ignored it because I was just so "busy." The hostess finally called, and politely but firmly let me have it. And I deserved her wrath. 

Politeness never goes out of style. Whether it's responding to an invitation, answering the phone or email or showing simple respect, we expose our own weaknesses when we display thoughtless or boorish behavior. I think one of the nastiest four-letter words that someone can call me is "rude." Especially because it doesn't take any more effort to be polite — and it takes a whole lot of work to restore your good reputation. 

Here's a final story to illustrate my point. An old grouch was about to enter a building and saw that the door was being held open for him — with considerable effort — by a little boy.

"Never mind that," said the old grouch. "I don't need your help."

The little boy smiled up at him and said, "You're welcome."

Mackay's Moral: Being polite is just as easy as being rude — and you never have to apologize.

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Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times bestseller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his website, www.harveymackay.com, by emailing harvey@mackay.com or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co., 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.