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New streams – ‘Hocus Pocus 2,’ ‘Blonde,’ Rob Zombie’s ‘The Munsters’

by TYLER WILSON/Coeur Voice Contributor
| October 5, 2022 1:00 AM

'Hocus Pocus 2'

As an Old Millennial, I should be brimming with excitement about “Hocus Pocus 2,” the 30-years-in-the-making sequel to the witchy Disney hit. In truth I saw the 1993 film for the first time just a few years ago, and it was… fine.

So while I’m not quite the target audience for the new film (available now on Disney+), I can happily report that “Hocus Pocus 2” isn’t the nostalgia-soaked trainwreck it so easily could have been. It obviously helps to reunite the original Sanderson sisters, played by Bette Midler, Kathy Najimy and Sarah Jessica Parker, all having a blast as their dastardly witches return to Salem to sing songs and steal the souls of more innocent children.

The sequel, directed by Anne Fletcher, works best when the sisters are forced to adjust to even-more-modern life (they dislike Alexa as much as that French-language lesson audio cassette from the first movie). The protagonists this time around are a trio of teenage girls with an innocent love of the dark arts. The Sanderson sisters arrive to show them the dark side of part-time witchcraft.

Let’s be honest: The plot of “Hocus Pocus 2” pretty much follows the beats of the first movie with a few variations. The witches are resurrected, they have one night to make themselves immortal and kids work to stop them. That familiarity should go down smooth for superfans of the original. “Hocus Pocus 2” doesn’t have anything new, but its stars make the experience pleasant enough.

‘Blonde’ an arduous experience

Far, far away from pleasant, the Ana de Armas-starring “Blonde” on Netflix spends all of its nearly three-hour running time physically and psychologically punishing its main character, Marilyn Monroe.

I say, “the character of Marilyn Monroe” because “Blonde” is based on the fictionalized biography by Joyce Carol Oates, which took certain real elements of the star’s life and, well, added a bunch of fiction.

Directed by Andrew Dominik (“Killing Them Softly,” “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford”), “Blonde” is oppressive in its depiction of violent sex, drugs and psychological/domestic abuse. Despite gorgeous cinematography, a mesmerizing score by Nick Cave and Warren Ellis, and the dynamic presence of de Armas, “Blonde” fails to say much beyond “Marilyn Monroe suffered.” That very well may be, but it makes for a one-note slog of a viewing experience.

Rob Zombie and ‘The Munsters’ an odd combo

Kudos, I guess to Rob Zombie for adding a more family-friendly entry into his grisly filmography. A prequel of sorts to 1960s-era sitcom about a family of friendly monsters, “The Munsters” has a welcome retro vibe but falls short as a feature-length story.

While the film’s comedic tone mirrors the cheesiness of the original show, here it sits in color, in 2022, with a cheap production aesthetic and hit-or-miss performances. The plot seems both thin and meandering, making it so only fans of the original series will care to stick with it through its near two-hour length.

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Tyler Wilson is film critic and member of the International Press Academy. He has been writing about movies since 2000, including a regular column in the Press since 2006. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.