THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: No defense for this Seahawk defense

Pete Carroll fell down a rabbit hole, and woke up to a new reality.

The creatures around him used the words “Geno Smith” and “Pro Bowl” in the same sentence — and nobody seemed to be giggling.

On the other hand, a big ol’ Cheshire cat was smirking at Pete, and purred: “Your DEE-fense can’t stop anybody.”

At last, a girl named Alice turned up.

She smiled at Carroll, and said, “Welcome to the world where up is down, and down is up.”

Indeed.

In this new universe, Smith and the Seahawks seem to be scoring at will — although shredding the helpless Lions perhaps doesn’t qualify as a true offensive test.

On the other hand, the Cheshire cat was telling an awful truth.

Seattle’s defense, once Carroll’s pride and joy, has apparently turned into cardboard.

Yes, the Seahawks got out of Detroit with a bizarre 48-45 win last week, but the formula they used to survive the hapless, injury wracked Lions isn’t likely to produce happy results the rest of the way.

Start with this: Those 45 points the Seahawks gave up were the most in Carroll’s entire Seattle tenure.

BEAR IN mind that Detroit was missing top running back D’Andre Swift, starting receivers Amon-Ra St. Brown and D.J. Chark, not to mention Pro Bowl guard Jonah Jackson.

In fact, the Lions were down to three wideouts — including Tom Kennedy, a surprise promotion from the practice squad — by the end of the game.

And yet, QB Jared Goff found receivers open everywhere.

When the Lions did want to run, a limited option since they were always trailing, gaps parted like the Red Sea.

Detroit rolled up 520 yards of offense, and when the gears might have sputtered slightly, the Seahawks seemed willing to help.

Penalties for illegal contact, pass interference and defensive holding extended Detroit drives, all when the Hawks might have put the game out of reach.

Ironically, it was a defensive play that provided the winning points — a terrific, instinctive pick-six by rookie corner Tariq Woolen.

Unfortunately, there were some flashing-red failures at other positions.

Inside linebacker Cody Barton had what must have been his worst game as a Seahawk, missing tackles and failing to get enough depth on a number of short passing routes.

Then there was the left outside linebacker spot in coordinator Clint Hurtt’s new 3-4 alignment.

Darrell Taylor, who showed so much promise last year (especially as a pass rusher), has been so ineffective that Carroll benched him for Darryl Johnson.

That might have been an improvement, but Johnson suffered a high ankle sprain in the second quarter, so Taylor had to play on both running and passing downs.

The Lions ran past him at will, and Taylor turned up with a dubious stat.

He managed zero tackles or assists, basically imitating a tackling dummy instead of setting the edge against the run.

CARROLL will have plenty to think about before the Hawks travel to New Orleans this weekend.

Maybe the giddiest fans can assume Smith and the offense will routinely run wild — but I have serious doubts about that.

We saw Geno and that same group score precisely nothing against the 49ers.

On defense, though …

Guh!

The front three held up fairly well against Detroit, but somebody will have to help Taylor and Barton at those linebacker spots.

Woolen is solid and then some at right corner, but neither Sidney Jones nor Michael Jackson offered any real coverage on the other side.

With Jamal Adams out for the year, Ryan Neal is gradually working his way into things at strong safety.

The glue guy, free safety Quandre Diggs, was the sacrificial lamb to face the press after the Lions game, and Diggs said the only thing he could …

We can get better.

“Of course you’re worried,” Diggs said. “But I don’t want to say we’re going to panic.

“We’ve got a lot of young guys out there. We’ve just got to pick up the small details of things. I think you could erase 24 or some of those points if we don’t have those penalties, or we play smarter on down and distances, and if guys know exactly where there are threes (three-receiver sides) away or threes to you.

“It’s just small things that you’ve got to be in tune to the game, and I don’t think we are there yet.”

Amen.

Don’t be surprised if Carroll plucks some bodies off the practice squad or the unemployment line this week.

Remember all those draft choices the Hawks have waiting for them next year?

They might need a boatload of them on defense.

That’s guaranteed to infuriate Carroll.

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”