THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Tom Brady is back
Steve Cameron.
Who cares about the NCAA tournament?
Hey, does anyone give a hoot that Gonzaga is the overall No. 1 seed yet again?
Is there a single soul interested that ESPN’s hoops experts believe the Zags will likely be defeated in the title game by Arizona — and former assistant Tommy Lloyd?
No, of course not, because …
TOM BRADY IS COMING BACK!
TOM BRADY IS COMING BACK!
Let’s all pause for some muttering.
I mean, at least the 105-year-old Brady picked a quiet Sunday afternoon to let the world know his well-planned, relaxing 39-day retirement was over.
Right smack in the middle of those CBS and ESPN bracket announcement and analysis shows that basketball junkies wait a full year to enjoy — panting every second in their sweatsuits — the relentless Brady announced his return to the Tampa Bay Bucs.
Seriously, Tom is harder to get off the screen than that guy in the hockey mask who chops up kids in horror movies.
IN CASE you think Tom was being insensitive to hoops fans (and all those teams who have waited breathlessly for Sunday’s magic moment), well …
Yeah, it was just a teeny bit like throwing up in the punch bowl at your sister’s wedding — but trust me about the timing here.
It was no accident, not by a long shot.
Today at 9 a.m., in case you weren’t aware, opened a 52-hour window the NFL calls (with no hint of irony) its “legal tampering” period.
That’s an oxymoron in most English textbooks, but hey, whatever the league chooses to name something …
We swallow it.
Anyhow, these two-plus days represent the brief time when teams can contact an agent for another club’s free agent — but NOT the player himself — and say, “Yo, we can’t sign anything now, or even make any firm agreement on a contract until Wednesday afternoon, but we can hold preliminary discussions.”
Only preliminary, got it?
Wink, wink!
I’m choosing to ignore (besides the eye-twitching) that clubs and agents “tamper” over salaries and extensions non-stop — just like baseball’s movers and shakers were doing during their “absolutely no-contact” lockout.
Anyhow, by the letter of the NFL’s (laughable) law, legal tampering ends when the new league year begins on Wednesday at 1 p.m.
What, you thought it opened with training camp?
Take a course in salary cap management, my friends.
BRADY knew that he would get maximum TV and social media exposure on Sunday, what with the NCAA men’s and women’s tournament announcements — plus The Players golf extravaganza.
In other words, everyone in or around sports would be attending, viewing or chatting about some event at which TB’s name would light up like the Vegas Strip on the night of a heavyweight title fight.
Brady’s Bucs have long since prepared to scatter to other teams — or also into retirement — so No. 12 decided to fudge the rules one more time and get a head start on some “not-quite-legal tampering.”
It’s a wonder that ESPN wasn’t running bright red streamers across the bottom of its screens …
BRADY WANTS STARS TO JOIN HIM IN TAMPA!
Are we all getting the picture now?
Is it too much to say that Brady’s announcement on Sunday was a cold-blooded attempt to put the Bucs back together — whether it was legal by NFL rules or not?
Or that he partially ruined what’s usually a super enjoyable basketball day?
No, no, it’s not.
When you call somebody “a winner,” it’s usually a compliment.
When you use the phrase in Brady’s case, it’s kind of …
Um …
Has anyone seen a few cases of deflated footballs?
Fortunately, we have until Thursday to preview Gonzaga’s NCAA opener against Georgia State — which opens the Zags’ next chance to grab that one brass ring that has eluded the country’s hottest college basketball program.
Of course, Brady may have another move prepared, like …
Opening a “GoFundMe” page to pay bonus money to some new wide receivers.
Email: [email protected]
Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. He also writes Zags Tracker, a commentary on Gonzaga basketball which is published weekly during the season.
Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”