THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: A guy we would pay to see — and we get in for free

It’s automatic.

When sports journalists are invited to speak at events like school assemblies, father and son nights, or …

(Don’t scoff, we actually are asked, fairly frequently — perhaps when a few REAL celebrities have said no!)

Where was I?

Oh, yeah, when we do appear at various functions, one particular question comes up every time.

Hand raised.

Me: “Yes, young man?”

Boy: “Do you get to go to all these games for free?”

Ah …

Indeed, we do, and make a living at it, too.

I’ve told hundreds of audiences over the years: “How lucky is this? I get paid to do what millions of people pay to do.”

I’m not trying to needle you here, and certainly not to gloat.

There’s a spotlight on one specific athlete coming up.

When a sports columnist says, “Now THAT is somebody I’d pay to see … ”

There’s a special meaning involved.

The player or competitor being discussed must be someone unique.

Amazing, even.

GIVEN all that warm-up information, let me just go on record and state…

I would pay to see Mariners rookie pitcher Matt Brash.

Perhaps I shouldn’t make such a thought public, lest the team decide to revoke my press credential whenever Brash is scheduled to start.

Just kidding.

The lovable Mariners would never do something like that.

On the other hand …

They have NO hesitancy — none at all — about unleashing the 24-year-old Brash on major league hitters.

The strange thing here is that, until proven otherwise (though it may become possible), Brash is not Seattle’s ace.

So, it’s not like buying a ticket to watch Sandy Koufax or Bob Gibson back in the day, or …

I’m struggling to think of a modern-day pitcher who meets those standards.

Most pitchers these days take too long to throw the ball, and despite their salaries (roughly the GDP of many small nations), a lot of them go about their business with the enthusiasm of workers in a slaughterhouse.

Pitchers now pore endlessly over scouting reports, then try to hit the absolute perfect spot with each delivery.

Brash, who has made exactly two starts in the majors (and not very many more before arriving at the MLB level), freely admits he doesn’t spend much time looking at tapes of hitters, or trying to memorize their strengths and weaknesses.

“I’m mostly thinking about my own stuff, and doing my own thing,” he told a slightly incredulous media gathering.

“Sometimes I don’t even know who’s batting.”

Say what?

HOW CAN a rookie right-hander get away with such a thing?

Well, for your hors d’oeuvres, enjoy a fastball rushing up there from 97 to 99 mph, and by the way …

It’s never quite straight.

After that appetizer, the main course is piled high with breaking pitches — including two vicious sliders with different tilt and speed, along with a curve that Brash says is still a work in progress.

“Some of our analytics people claim they’ve never seen a pitcher put spin on the ball like Matt,” insisted Mariners VP Jerry Dipoto.

When the mostly unknown Brash was throwing bullpen sessions during spring training, Mariners coaches would grab other staff members and say, “C’mon, you’ve GOT to see this.”

What’s even more fun is that Brash is still at the stage of his development where he doesn’t exactly have pinpoint command of this frightening arsenal.

Brash’s first two starts came against the White Sox and Astros, a pair of the most potent offenses in baseball.

Young Matt worked 10 2/3 innings (picking up a win and a loss), allowing six hits while striking out 11, yielding seven walks and, just for good measure, plunking a batter.

You can easily imagine that hitters have not felt exactly cushy and comfy up there with Brash’s deliveries darting and diving all over the place.

BRASH has given up four runs in his two starts, three of which came on homers – one by Chicago’s Luis Robert on a great piece of hitting against a sinker, and the other to Houston’s Michael Brantley on a “hit me” slider that Brash threw over the middle of the plate on a 3-2 count with the Mariners ahead 6-0, because he obviously didn’t want to walk anyone in that situation.

The combination of Brash’s natural ability, his growing command (which is still in the test-flight stage) and his complete lack of fear when facing the best hitters in the game make this kid a must-see performer.

Even though his pitches have announcers using words like electric, unpredictable and wicked, Brash himself is as cool as your store-bought cucumber.

When manager Scott Servais saw Brash sitting alone on the bench just minutes before his first home start (against the Astros), he noted the noise, frenzy and even tension in T-Mobile Park, and thus he approached the novice starter.

“Just pretend you’re back pitching in Little League in Canada,” Servais told him.

Brash didn’t miss a beat.

“Don’t worry,” he replied. “I got this.”

Prediction …

Soon enough, Matt Brash will have it all.

Email: [email protected]

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. He also writes Zags Tracker, a commentary on Gonzaga basketball which is published monthly during the offseason.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”