THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: Being a Northwest sports fan can be tough

There you are, sitting all comfy on the couch, or maybe feet up in your recliner.

Your favorite team is on TV, and everyone in the house knows you won’t be hearing anything they say for a few hours.

OK, while you’re enjoying the delight of sports viewing, there’s a chance that everything will go perfectly.

Your guys will cruise to victory, no sweat, no questions, no odd substitutions, no whimpering, like, “Why is HE on the roster, anyhow?” *

Indeed, these will be the days of nothing but sunshine and hot fudge sundaes.

Your team will cruise along like a finely tuned Ferrari, and so will you — perhaps enjoying a couple of cold ones.

When a game goes according to script (your personal script, of course), even the air in your den smells delicious.

These are days of almost indescribable happiness, days of incredible wonder, when you are locked into a sense that, well …

“Honey, we’re gonna win it all. Really.

“No kidding, this is the year.”

HOWEVER …

For the sports aficionado, not all moments are sunshine and hot fudge sundaes.

Living here in the Northwest, you know without question that things can go sideways.

The Seahawks (7-10) are rebuilding after a divorce from their Hall of Fame quarterback; the Mariners, meanwhile, came so, so close to breaking that historic 21-year playoff drought; Washington State is rebuilding in football AND basketball; Gonzaga is routinely sitting there proudly at No. 1 in the nation — but not when they hand out the big trophy.

I’m trying to avoid even mentioning the godforsaken Kraken, who couldn’t get through their first season without trading almost everyone — except the Zamboni driver.

I think he avoided the guillotine.

Maybe.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the place to live if you want to leap off that recliner, face beet red, and …

Loudly question the coach, the manager, the front office, the league office, the NCAA, the wind that blew that kick just barely to the left.

Can’t someone — like Buddha, maybe — get it right for us just once every few years?

HERE’S a news flash …

Yes, I’m a journalist and must try to be objective.

I may not suffer to the point of driving nails through my kneecaps when one of our teams blows a tire — but I live here, too, and I’m writing within the spirit of the region.

However, I have to be very willing to jump in and offer opinions regarding teams we care about, especially if I think they’re about to make a mistake that could become costly.

Here’s the first of two examples …

No doubt you’ve listened to all the hoopla about the exploding salaries being paid to NFL wide receivers, and what that could mean to the Seahawks’ DK Metcalf.

Quick background …

Green Bay was forced to trade Davante Adams, one of the league’s best wideouts, to Las Vegas — simply because Adams wanted to be paid atop the scale for his position.

He got that money from the Raiders, which made the Chiefs’ Tyreek Hill scream that he wanted more, so Hill was dealt to Miami.

Next came Buffalo’s Stefon Diggs, who stayed home and “settled” for $104 million over four years in the wake of the Adams-Hill paydays.

Now, suddenly there are questions about whether the Seahawks, thinking ahead to the salary cap issue in 2023, should trade Metcalf.

I’ll gladly help you (and Seattle general manager John Schneider) with this puzzle.

Trade DK?

No, and hell no.

In the case of the other receivers who are receiving boatloads of money, there is also a QB on each of those rosters whose salary arrives in a BIGGER boat — Aaron Rodgers, Patrick Mahomes and Josh Allen.

The Seahawks are not going to have a quarterback making fat money, not anytime soon.

Drew Lock is currently QB1 in Seattle, and he’s never going to get paid serious cash.

Even if the Seahawks draft a quarterback (say, Malik Willis from Liberty), he’ll be on a rookie deal.

Either way, there will be money to pay Metcalf.

End of discussion.

I’VE GOT one more item for you.

It hasn’t come up to bite the Mariners yet, but it certainly could happen at some point — and if they think this though, they would make a move to avoid the mistake ahead of time.

When personnel guru Jerry Dipoto and manager Scott Servais put together their 28-man roster (it drops to 26 at the end of April), they chose to carry three catchers — Tom Murphy, the so-called everyday guy; Cal Raleigh, a switch-hitting prospect who eventually will be No. 1; and Luis Torrens, who can hit, somewhat, but is an absolute liability defensively.

Fact: You don’t need three catchers.

The decision to carry three meant that Seattle cut outfielder Billy Hamilton, who could sign with another team or (hopefully) wind up in Tacoma.

Hamilton is not a real threat at the plate, although he’s hit .240 over nine years — but that’s not the issue.

Billy has stolen 314 bases and can still run like crazy, and he’s a terrific defensive center fielder.

With the Mariners almost certain to play plenty of close games again this year, having Hamilton available might be golden.

Jesse Winker is below average in left, as is Jarred Kelenic.

Julio Rodriguez shows promise in center, but he’s just getting the hang of the position.

In the late innings of one-run game, the Mariners NEED Hamilton — who made an over-the-fence catch to take away a home run in Seattle’s final spring training game — perhaps to play center while J-Rod moves to left.

Plus, Hamilton would be terrific to have available as a pinch-runner (maybe as the extra-inning “ghost runner”), especially on a team with several regulars whose speed is average or below.

Hamilton should have made the 28-man roster, and I hope that, somehow, he gets back to Seattle.

Having the extra speed to win three or four games might mean a division championship this time around.

I watched it help Kansas City win a World Series in 2015.

Zoom!

Email: [email protected]

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. He also writes Zags Tracker, a commentary on Gonzaga basketball which is published monthly during the off season.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”

* Oh, yes, there was an asterisk way back in the early part of today’s column. I wanted to point out that I used the male version of sports teams because it would have clumsy to keep saying “he or she.” All the references here apply to teams of both sexes.