THE CHEAP SEATS with STEVE CAMERON: The one thing we'd like to bet on at this year's Final Four

I’m already tired of this Final Four.

Exhausted from the Coach K Worship Tour.

Weary from tales of Carolina coming on to ruin Duke’s golden moment.

Frustrated that legit title contenders Kansas and Villanova are never mentioned.

But mostly …

I’m angry because I can’t bet on this thing.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

There are legal betting parlors just about the border in Washington, but they don’t offer the wager I want.

Hell, I probably couldn’t find it in Vegas, and they’ll take a bet on almost anything.

So why do I have such a problem?

Because …

I want to bet that these games, right up to the championship moment, will be decided by absolute crap officiating.

College basketball is affected by a rash of horrible officials already, even at lower levels and plain old conference games.

So, at the glamorous Final Four …

Wow, it’s going to be a riot of mistakes — and officials trying to make themselves stars of the show.

WE CAN start with the way games are being called all over the place.

As ESPN analyst Jay Bilas, once a hoops star himself, put it …

“I think they’re calling really good games — if you you’re looking for hockey or rugby. But this isn’t basketball.”

Bilas is furious that his game has become physical to the point of a gang fight.

Officials let the big guys battle for rebounds with everything short of clubs and ball bats — committing multiple fouls on both sides until one team comes up with possession.

They let defenders slide under players driving for the basket, and call offensive fouls almost every time.

Why?

Because it’s a more dramatic call, with a wicked point in the opposite direction.

A lot of the overly physical play occurs because officials get caught up in the game and forget that they’re supposed to be controlling it.

For instance …

North Carolina was pummeling Baylor until, for some bizarre reason, the Tar Heels' Brady Manek was assessed a “Flagrant Two” for accidentally hitting a player with his elbow.

The officials decided on the super-dramatic (and incorrect) “Two” — meaning Manek was thrown out of the game — and the call gave Baylor life.

A frantic press and rally immediately began to close the deficit.

The officials didn’t seem to mind that Baylor was hacking, slashing, bumping and committing mayhem in attempts to steal the ball — because the zebras got as excited as the crowd.

It was shameful.

That sort of thing is happening all the time now, but especially in the NCAA tournament.

The officials know they’re on center stage, and they love it.

IF YOU think college basketball has gotten too physical — reducing speed and skill in favor of knocking players to the floor — wait until you see the Final Four.

Officials will stand around during gang fights under the basket, and then whistle a guard 35 feet from the hoop for a reach-in foul.

Gonzaga has been criticized as the team that can’t win it all because they want to run and shoot and play a beautiful type of hoops.

The Zags can’t get over the hump, pundits claim, because they’re not powerful and rough enough — so they get pushed around.

There’s some truth in that, if you go ahead and recall that the closest the Zags have come to a title was 2017, with the biggest and most physical team they’d had in years.

Przemek Karnowski, Johnathan Williams III, Zach Collins, Nigel Williams-Goss — these guys were big, strong street fighters, and almost got it done.

The problem was that North Carolina was just as big and tough, and the officials decided — for some mysterious reason — that they didn’t like the 7-foot freshman Collins, who fouled out without breaking a sweat.

It decided the NCAA championship.

THE GAME’S official oracle, Bill Walton, once said: “That was the worst officiated game I’ve ever seen. Ever!”

My point?

For whatever reason, officials can no longer keep up with college basketball. The players are too big and too fast.

So, the guys in charge simply allow an alley fight on rebounds, and only show up when they have to do an “official review” to add three-tenths of a second to the game clock.

The result is obvious.

There are atrocious calls in every game, and by the time we get to the Final Four, it’s just chaos.

Nothing like an afternoon battle in Syria.

And who gets the trophy?

Ha!

Officials will give you the winner, and …

I wish I could bet on it.

Email: [email protected]

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. He also writes Zags Tracker, a commentary on Gonzaga basketball which is published weekly during the season.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”