Loving the library with Sookie

It was a weak moment. The kind that hits in your afternoon slump when you look for any excuse to delay the inevitable schlep off from the chair and get back to the real business of the day.

It The quiz was a meaningless, trivial, not remotely productive, but I eagerly filled it out to prove that I — I was a true “book worm.” Unlike all the other plebs out there I was able to check off at least 17 of these 32 signs that proved I was a true Book Nerd.

Or was it a digital bingo? Either way, I nearly had a blackout and the prize was sweet.

But the only truly interesting tidbit in this frivolous whatever brought to you by the good people at Buzzfeed, was one of the brag-worthy checkboxes:

“You have your library card number memorized.”

Boy, do I. And I thought, as I so often do, how grateful I am to have our public book houses in town. In honor of this listicle dribble, I’d like to present an equally shallow and frivolous appreciation piece for our library crews.

But as I would hate to be boring, I’ll forgo an obnoxiously not-mathematically-tidy number of reasons why libraries are underrated. Instead, I’ll use a literary favorite whose reading habits haven’t been over discussed: Sookie Stackhouse.

(Note: I have not been paid to write this content. Particularly as the library is not a business.)

True Blood series fans will recognize the main character of the Southern Vampire books. (Libraries are great because you can catch up on all the great titles from three to three hundred years ago.)

Sookie Stackhouse loves the library. In fact, she seems to spend every book avoiding supernatural drama (and failing), trying not to get killed in the drama (narrowly succeeding), and going to the library. Occasionally, all three happen at once. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll remember to check your due date.

Sookie is an everyman (everyreader?) kind of true book worm. She likes to enjoy herself with a little crime, romance and mystery. It’s not unusual to meet a literary character who professes a love of books, but while many are supposed to be mad for Proust or Austen, it’s nice to see a character who isn’t ashamed to get a pile of enjoyable fluff. “Beach read” sounds like “must read” to Sookie. Besides, how else do you cleanse your verbal palette between Faulkner and Woolf?

The telepathic barmaid (see? Beach read) looks forward to the library like a kid hitting the candy store. Surrounded by walls of goodies and getting your pick of the place without having to pay is as close as you’ll get to being young again.

Plus it’s so much cheaper, which is why Sookie — the only character with a normal job waiting tables who actually acknowledges the need for a budget — depends on it. Not all of us can purchase 20-plus books a year. Even if you can, you would just have to buy a new bookshelf every other year to keep up. That may not be retire-in-Hawaii money, but it is biweekly Uber Eats money. What would you even eat while reading your second trashy novel of the month? That’s just poor budgeting, folks.

Best of all, Sookie was written largely in the early 2000s, which means her lifestyle is (as of book nine) about as technologically advanced as a flip-phone. I imagine a busy barmaid working double shifts and reluctantly dealing with supernatural politics doesn’t have the time to deal with shipping time. Why wait two weeks for a book to finally arrive when you can just go to the library to grab it and three friends?

As someone who has requested a book from another town, waited for quarantine and arranged a pick-up in less time than it takes an “expedited” delivery from the online behemoth, I am certainly not impressed. Besides, if you read half as fast as Sookie, you could finish the book before it would arrive.

All in all, I think that Sookie Stackhouse is on to something. The library is a pretty good deal. Which is why I have the card number memorized by now.

Anyway, happy literacy month.