Hallowmercializing

When is the next commercial break?

I was perusing a certain Halloween store, pumped for the upcoming spooky season, and I couldn’t help noticing again at how commercial it was.

Before you choke on your coffee with a derisive scoff, hear me out.

I know Halloween went commercial long ago. But I’m not even going to touch on the joys of fully and partially handmade costumes (although they’re often far more realistic — as realistic as 7-year-old pirates and cats walking on two legs can be). And yes, I did expect to be “sold” on the holiday by walking into a store.

Increasingly, everything in the store over the years seems to be branded and commercialized to the point where cheap, shoddy designs with a character are slapped together and sold in about 35 different formats from mugs to refrigerator magnets to tea towels (OK, those were from last year).

It’s not just at the themed costuming stores, either. But when a holiday that has always welcomed us true freaks, weirdos and ostracized types gets boiled down to eight different Sanderson sisters quotes in different fonts and shimmery colors that in no way reflect the "Hocus Pocus" movie, I suppose I get a little upset. It would be one thing if there were costumes available so you could become a Sanderson witch. It’s quite another to engage in poor design practice, slap the result on a poor quality mug, and over brand a once spectacular piece of art.

It feels like we’re living in a commercial at this point. And it’s not funny enough to make the Super Bowl.

I don’t mean to be a Halloween Scrooge (maybe Peanuts’ Lucy?), but there has to be a middle ground. A few Mystery Machine gadgets help make Velma and the gang, but what’s the appeal in a flimsy, ugly keychain? If we’re going to tie ourselves to a few movies and books we like — and I wish we wouldn’t, because I think we are all far more interesting than the sum of our favorite mass-consumed stories — then let’s at least scale back the volume and up the quality, OK?

I promise, you don’t have to prove you love "Nightmare Before Christmas" by owning 10 items that have the name of the movie on it. Nor do your Halloween door mats need to quote it to fit the spirit of the holiday. Unless this trend spirals out of control, you can still rely on cutesy ghosts and broomsticks to celebrate the season.

I can’t swear that back in my day things were golden, but it did seem like Barbie and Disney princesses existed in a wider pool of generic, non-denominational witches, monsters and animals. And the classic pumpkin candy bucket had more unnamed scarecrows, ravens and ghosts for friends.

So please, can we turn this thing on mute for a while?