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What veterans value most

by LTC BENJAMIN J. VAN METER/The Veterans' Press
| November 11, 2021 1:06 AM

Another Veterans Day has arrived and like any other previous year, there will be ceremonies, celebrations and re-runs of classic war movies (or documentaries for the more serious armchair generals).

Discussions and commentary about veterans-related issues will fill TV screens and the papers as well. Yet, beyond the parades, flag-waving and commentary, what does Veteran’s Day mean to veterans?

My father is a Vietnam veteran but had never spoken about his experience when I was younger. Without a military base near my hometown in Oregon, the topic of veterans was all the more foreign and distant. However, my perspective would radically change after joining the military and a particularly poignant experience immediately following my first combat deployment.

Late one evening in December 2006, I stopped at a local store in Colorado Springs on my way home from Fort Carson. It was a frigid night typical of a Colorado winter. As I was leaving the store I heard a voice call out from behind me, “Hey Soldier!”

I turned to see a man about my father’s age approach. “Were you with those 4th Infantry Division boys that just came back from Iraq?” he inquired. “Yes, we just came back on Nov. 11 of all days,” I replied. After seeing my rank, he reached out to shake my hand and said: “Welcome back lieutenant!”

Surprised, I asked him how he recognized my rank. “Sir, I was with the 4th Infantry Division in Vietnam back in 1968 and there’s a lot I still remember about the Army — including babysitting our young lieutenant!”

I laughed at this classic Army joke and replied that, “My dad is a Vietnam veteran as well and that’s the same time he was there too.” The man’s eyes lit up as we began talking about his time in Vietnam, my father’s experience and the similarities of their experiences with mine while recently deployed to Iraq.

During this conversation, a stranger had suddenly become a fellow comrade. Two different generations became part of a larger continuum that started long before us and continues on. It was from this conversation that I began to understand the value of connection for veterans.

Since joining the Army, Veterans Day has been a moment to pause and reflect on the experiences that tested our mettle and transformed strangers into brothers and sisters. The hardships, sacrifices and challenges that we endured together forged an incredible bond.

After this collective experience, it is hard to return to an American society that can be hyper-individualistic and divided. Sometimes members of the public ask me what they can do to help veterans.

From my perspective, it is simple: Listen and ask questions.

Non-veterans will have a hard time relating to these stories, but asking questions like, “What was your favorite memory from serving?” and “What are you most thankful for?” is simple, but shows interest while guiding the conversation in a positive direction. Interest shows value, which in turn starts the process of building the sense of connection that veterans often miss and value most about their time in serving our nation.

Sharing stories and developing new, common experiences with members of the community will help veterans feel connected versus alienated. I learned early in my military career that taking a moment of your time to listen can have a profound impact on others within the organization and within our community.

Outside that local store in Colorado, my conversation came to an end with a fellow veteran from another generation. He seemed overjoyed at the opportunity to meet a member of the newest generation from his old unit.

The man also appeared content that he could relive his own story with someone who could understand and appreciate it to a degree. As we prepared to say farewell, I reached over and pulled off my combat patch from my right sleeve. I handed it to the man and said, “From one veteran to another, thank you for your service and please take this 4th Infantry Division combat patch as a keepsake from our conversation tonight.”

He held the patch for a moment, his eyes began to water and glisten under the parking lot lights. Suddenly, he stood straight, rendered me a salute, and said, “Thank you, Sir!” I returned the salute and as I shook his hand, I repeated the 4th Infantry Division Motto “Steadfast and Loyal!”

From the look in his eye, a sense of connection and belonging had come alive inside of him. In that brief moment, he was a proud soldier standing among his comrades once again.

• • •

Lieutenant Colonel Benjamin J. Van Meter, U.S. Army, currently serves as the Army Reserve Officer Training Corps (ROTC) Professor of Military Science at Eastern Washington University.

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Courtesy photo