THE CHEAP SEATS WITH STEVE CAMERON: Memories of Madden, and that train ride across America

Four words that I dreaded I’d ever write …

The. Late. John. Madden.

If you’ve followed these columns, you probably know that Madden and I were friends.

We traveled across the country together a few times, he was a guest at a luncheon I hosted (which caused a near-riot with more people trying to get in than the restaurant could hold), and I got to laugh at so many of John’s great lines that just knowing him was a privilege.

There are a million recollections that come to mind — some involving actual football games and some that pop up just from knowing this remarkable man.

I’ve tried to think of anyone who was bigger in any American sport than Madden — and the only possibility I could come up with was Babe Ruth.

Maybe.

But Babe didn’t live in an era of video games, so perhaps that’s our answer.

Just ask yourself this …

Who hasn’t ever heard of John Madden?

SO, HOW to remember John today?

I’m thinking I should re-publish a story about one of our train trips — a distinctly happy memory, and the kind of thing that you could only experience with John.

Quite a few readers enjoyed the tale the first time, so maybe it will make you smile again. And for anyone who didn’t see this story when it originally appeared in The Press, I think you’ll agree that it’s so, so … John Madden.

The events occurred way back in 1979, and Madden was returning home to California after a trip to Milwaukee — at which he received the first-ever Vince Lombardi Award for his decade of coaching.

All football fans know by now that Madden wouldn’t fly, and in his first few years of retirement and TV work, he traveled exclusively by train (this came before the famous Madden Cruiser luxury bus).

The way I got involved was through Bob King, vice president of the Denver Nuggets.

I was a columnist in Denver at the time, and King collared me one night to say that his pal Madden (they’d worked together at San Diego State) would be spending an hour in town on his way to Milwaukee.

WE MET Madden at Union Station, but no saloons were open, so we got aboard the train to celebrate briefly in the lounge car.

Eventually, Madden talked us into staying with him on the trip to Chicago — for which neither Bob nor I were prepared.

But it was great fun, even if King and I wound up stranded in a snowstorm.

On Madden’s ultimate trip home …

He spent a couple days in Denver (that whole nutty story can be found on pages 45-46 of Madden’s first book).

Eventually, it was time to get back on the train for California, and John once again talked me into making the trip with him.

We had another traveling companion, too, San Francisco pro football reporter Frank Cooney.

It was great stuff for Cooney and me, soaking up Madden’s funny stories and serious football tales.

It was on that trip that John imparted the most serious piece of football wisdom.

We had been drawing plays on cocktail napkins when John said: “You know, no matter what you scheme up, if my Xs knock all your Os on their ass when the ball in snapped, you have no chance.”

IN FACT, football was probably the only sport mentioned until the train stopped in Laramie, Wyo.

Sometime after that, the three of us realized it was time to eat and headed to the dining car.

We’d only been there a few minutes when we noticed that two tables down the aisles were filled with extremely athletic-looking young women.

And tall, at that.

Madden promptly figured out that we’d been joined by the University of Wyoming women’s basketball team — and he had an idea.

“Without talking to them, let’s see if we can guess the starting five,” John said. “What are there, 10 or 12 of them?

“We’ll just watch them eat and interact with each other, and see if we can figure it out.”

So, after Frank had gone to the Wyoming coach and assured her we weren’t just ogling her players, we did some serious studying.

I WAS pretty sure I’d picked out four of the starters, but couldn’t quite see a fifth one and was forced to guess.

Cooney also thought he had at least four correct.

Madden said nothing.

Finally, we all wrote our choices on napkins, and Cooney was again dispatched to speak with the coach to get some information.

When Frank got back, we all placed our napkins in the center of the table.

I was surprised that I’d only gotten three of the Wyoming starters correct. Ditto Cooney.

And Madden?

He had all five correct.

Frank asked Big John what had tipped him off about the different players.

How could he pick out the starters just by watching them sit and eat?

“I can’t answer that,” Madden said, “or you guys will know how I won a Super Bowl.”

Email: scameron@cdapress.com

Steve Cameron’s “Cheap Seats” columns appear in The Press on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. He also writes Zags Tracker, a commentary on Gonzaga basketball which is published weekly during the season.

Steve suggests you take his opinions in the spirit of a Jimmy Buffett song: “Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On.”