Holiday perfection a false prophet
Holiday perfection a false prophet
‘Tis the season of joy. Endless decorations, mailboxes and porches stuffed with cards and packages, cookies baked, endless holiday tunes trying to keep everyone cheery amid the skidding tires and holiday traffic. So many love this time of year - family, friends, gift-giving, a hot meal and stuffed stockings.
But not everyone.
Sometimes the holiday season can be the toughest. For those who've lost someone close, are ill, face financial and emotional challenges, have no family and few friends, or are just having a hard time, all this holiday cheer can be depressing. Like looking in a window at what you wish you had, or being stuck at a party surrounded by laughter and social expectation when you're struggling to keep your head up.
In such cases it can be nice just to hear that it's okay not to join in. Or simply to be compassionately acknowledged.
To know that a full range of emotions can coexist.
Maybe the holiday spirit can grow into a broader, more variable thing – with a cushion to help carry feelings of loss alongside the pick-me-ups. After all, this festive mania is temporary; real life comes before and after, and caring people don’t really expect fake smiles or glib answers.
For that matter, a smile doesn't necessarily mean its wearer is leading a happy, picture-perfect life.
What is picture-perfect, anyway? Life's pictures change each day, each moment. Sometimes they look like a Norman Rockwell drawing, and once in a while, more like a horror film. For most, the pictures in life's album look like a series of steps between the two - a slideshow of images with wide-ranging emotions and scenes.
Wishing it to be something else is where we so often get stuck. Excepting the extreme, the best anyone can do is observe what's there and accept it as is. Change what we can, if we can, but generally be at peace with our own pictures. Trying not to compare or expect them to look like anyone else's; knowing that no matter how things appear, no life album is "picture-perfect."
A rose has thorns. Youthful looks wrinkle and grey (and age has its benefits). Love grows from being tested. Self-esteem develops by hardships conquered. Beauty is born of imperfection.
So during this season and year-round joy and sadness, loss and laughter – we can make room for it all.
Sholeh Patrick is a columnist for the Hagadone News Network. Email Sholeh@cdapress.com.