Comfort and support for the dying

COEUR d’ALENE — Volunteer organization No One Shall Die Alone is hosting a free training class Aug. 28.

NOSDA is a group of about 50 volunteers in Kootenai County trained to provide support for people facing death.

“We have no agenda except to be with that person,” said Storma Edelbrock, who has volunteered since 2018.

Edelbrock, 70, recently sat with a 99-year-old woman who has been dying for 15 years.

“I’ll put my hand on her arm,” Edelbrock said. “I’ll tell her it’s OK sweetie, I’m here. Sometimes the family just wants us to be there.”

During the five-hour training, attendees will see if this is a good fit for them. Not everyone is suited to it, Edelbrock said.

The training teaches the importance of what to say to a patient even if unconscious, what it means to sit with someone who is dying, what can and can’t be said regarding HIPAA laws, how to put their own agenda and beliefs entirely aside, how to respect the dying and provide support for them and their families.

“It is the etiquette and legalities of sitting with the dying,” Edelbrock said.

Edelbrock said most of those they sit with are comatose, but what is spoken to them in that state is important.

“They do hear you even if they are unconscious,” she said.

A heartfelt observation in a local hospital inspired St. Pius deacon Chuck Finan to start NOSDA in 2003.

Finan had visited his mother-in-law and realized that the second patient in the room never had visitors. He realized that was an opportunity for ministry and a need in the community.

“Unfortunately it is older and infirm people who mostly need this service,” Edelbrock said.

Doing this work can be emotionally taxing but having more people means the burden can be shared, Edelbrock said.

They're hoping to add about 50 volunteers to the group.

When NOSDA is called in to sit with someone, volunteers are there for as long as it takes.

Working in two-hour shifts, volunteers cover as many as they can manage.

"Sometimes it is just your presence that is needed," she said. "Other times we read to the person or play music if that is something they would want."

Part of the job is learning about personal preferences and what will bring comfort for them and their family, she said.

Edelbrock said it took her a long time to discern that this was something she wanted to do.

“It was a hard decision,” she said. “But I decided to do it because I did not want to die alone.”

The class will be from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. at St. Pius Church, 625 E. Haycraft Ave., Coeur d’Alene and includes lunch and a training packet. Participants will be required to wear a mask.

To participate, RSVP with Storma Edelbrock, 208-661-1401, sedelbrock1@gmail.com.