The stay-at-home dad: A sneaky chore chart
Each of our four kids devise unique ways to weasel out of chores.
Our 3-year-old son deploys cuteness. Little kids can get away with everything.
Our youngest daughter, who recently turned 6, pretends to be busy with questionable activities, and she uses aggression to make whatever she’s doing appear more important. “UGH! How can I clean the table when I’m LOOKING FOR MY HAIR BRUSH!?”
Our 7-year-old son just disappears. At clean-up time, he creeps off to the bathroom. Either he’s faking a potty break, or the very thought of chores makes him need to poop.
These tactics result in our 9-year-old daughter taking the brunt of the chore responsibilities. Even then, she worms out of completing some tasks by deploying her signature strategy of sassing nasty remarks at us until we can’t stand to be in the same room with her anymore. Hurtful. But well played, kid.
As a stay-at-home dad to young kids, I’ve long made my peace with being the person taking on the brunt of everyday housework. My wife, however, tends to take the lead on activities one might deem as “spring cleaning.” The kids are getting older, and both of us can see change on the horizon. We dream of weekends in the future when the kids scrub the toilets, mow the lawn, wash the dishes, do the laundry, etc., and the parents just get to day-drink and scroll Netflix.
In the meantime, we just want the kids to do a little bit more without the excuses or bad attitudes. Recently, my wife tried a new strategy that resulted in some of the most work I’ve ever seen out of them.
Utilizing some plastic eggs left behind from Easter, my wife created an egg hunt tied to both chores and a fun activity the kids wanted to do over the weekend. She called them “Egg-tivities.”
First off, she hid the eggs extremely well… to the point where each essentially needed a hint from a parent in order to find it. This serves as a time management safeguard so we don’t commit ourselves to too many activities in a row. Avoiding burnout is key.
Inside each egg is a numbered chore. For example: “No. 2: Clean the entryway” or “No. 7: Wash out the garbage can.” Or “No. 9: Clear and clean the countertops.” The chore is completed by the family as a whole, and once complete, my wife grabs the corresponding fun activity (so long as everyone participates, even that adorable little 3-year-old. The No. 2 fun activity is “ride bikes.” No. 7 is “go for a walk around the neighborhood.” No. 9 is “popcorn and a movie.”
She tracked the progress with a chart on a big whiteboard, with two slots each for Nos. 1-10 - one side for the chore and the other side for the fun activity. The visual aid added anticipation for what might be coming the rest of the weekend, AND it also became a list of everything they accomplished. Lazy as they usually are, they definitely felt a sense of pride once they filled the chart.
Another genius move by my wife: A few of the “chores” aren’t really chores for the kids, but rather something Mom and Dad want to do without interruptions. No. 6 is “Mom dyes her hair,” and it tied together with “Kids play ‘Minecraft.’” This possibility added an additional incentive in order to curb child burnout, especially for my 7-year-old. He would tolerate one chore because he thought the next chore might not be a chore.
I’m not saying this process will work all the time, and the commitment to things like “No. 4: Kids cooking challenge” (a game where they essentially just make a mess in the kitchen with chocolate) or “No. 10: Play the Bob Ross board game” requires some parental management and clean-up.
Still, when things need to get done around the house, and Mom and Dad don’t want to be yelled at just because a kid refuses to pick up their crusty playdough or pile of dirty socks.
I’ll tell you what though, my 7-year-old still rushes off to poop during every chore, even with the incentive attached. He comes back faster, at least, but man, I don’t think that’s a normal bowel movement.
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Tyler Wilson is a freelance writer and stay-at-home dad to four kids, ages 3-9. He is tired. He can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com.