COOKIES: Good news (and bad)

Oreos will survive the apocalypse. The makers of Oreo have ensured that the popular snack will live past any possible asteroid strikes.

Inspired by the Global Seed Vault in Svalbard, Norway, designed and built to withstand both natural and man-made disasters. The vault will protect packs of Oreos by being sealed in Mylar bags that can keep them safe from temperatures of -80 F to 300 F. Vials of powdered milk will also be stored in order for Oreos to be dunked as needed.

Asteroid 2018VP1, on Nov. 2 has a small chance of hitting us and most likely would burn up in the atmosphere. Oreo provided the coordinates of the vault, 78°08’58.1”N, 16°01’59.7”E, which places it near the Svalbard seed vault just above the Arctic Circle. It has a coded lock on the door, ensuring the contents are saved for an apocalyptic event.

It boggles the mind that a company with such public concern could turn right around and tout its rainbow colored filling in honor of the LBGT agenda with the most enticing filling you could ever imagine. Leave the children of the world alone. Let them dip their Oreos in milk and savor them without somebody’s agenda poisoning their still formative years. Oreo corporate headquarters can just leave the kids to be kids.

Damn Oreos anyway. I want to ignore them, shun them, and yet I can’t help but appreciate their vault protecting one of modern man’s most important developments in healthy nutrition.

ROBERT HUNT

Post Falls