The stay-at-home dad Distant but together

Well that escalated quickly.

All parents experience some degree of isolation when it comes to caring for their children. Especially with babies and young kiddos, there’s a tendency to hunker down when social life becomes even slightly more challenging. Snowstorms, multiple stretches of rainy days, regular flu seasons, sleepless nights and many other things can convince parents to just stay home and avoid society.

Now we’re all staying home… for a while.

Since I already work from home with small children running around regularly, mandatory school closures because of COVID-19 don’t alter my life nearly as much as many of you out there. Nothing about any of our lives will be normal for a few weeks, but I especially feel for the people who must figure out childcare while balancing work and all the other personal and societal implications of a pandemic.

Take it from me: Being around your kids all day, every day is difficult. I love them so much always, but there are stretches when I really, truly don’t like them. When four kids get bored, tired and hungry all at once, the house can easily spiral into chaos.

It’s going to happen to you too, temporary at-home parent. It’s okay to not like them from time to time. Occasional chaos is okay so long as you can restore control.

I know some of you are saying, “I’ve got a plan. I’ve got a schedule. My kids are so cool I’d like spending time with them even if they weren’t my own.”

You are wrong.

I know from my experience and the experiences of literally every stay-at-home parent I’ve ever known. This situation is going to be terrible, at least occasionally, and your kids are going to drive you crazy... at times. You breathe through it, forgive yourself for making mistakes and go back to trying your best.

You’ll feel like a failure, but not always. You’ll think some horrible thoughts, but they won’t linger.

Most of us, kids and adults, are going to be isolated in ways we’ve never had to be in the past. Your kids might not see friends or grandparents for a while, just as adults might avoid seeing their friends or parents during this period. We’re all in this together, just a few more feet apart.

Our sacrifices are important. We’ve all seen the “flattening the curve” graphic. While kids aren’t getting as sick, they still serve as a major mode of transmission for COVID-19. We can save lives just by tolerating our obnoxious children at home for a few weeks.

Those few weeks might become eight weeks or 10 weeks or more. We don’t know exactly when this ends, but we’ll learn how to deal with it together. Educators will provide direction, online resources will be utilized and we can all work together to help those who need more. Reach out to your neighbors (by phone) and see what you can do to help those in more vulnerable situations.

And ask for help when you need it. Even if all you need is a little encouragement. Or for someone to hear you say, “This sucks” or “I hate my toddler!” It’s OK. Toddlers are terrible!

I’ll start – I need busy work for my school age kids. Teachers, please email me pages and pages of worksheets. Also, liquor store – I need bottles and bottles of liquor.