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Research: She’s back and MLP is snittier than ever

| March 5, 2020 1:00 AM

From Mrs. Language Person’s long absence, one might infer that she’d done readers a favor and taken a hike. No such luck, Dear Reader.

You might infer, but you couldn’t imply. ‘Tis for MLP, the writer or speaker (or non-speaker, such as the case may be), to hint and suggest. To imply.

It is for you, Dear Reader, to make that leap of logic — that this restful hiatus from her tiresome tirades may be permanent. To infer.

Yet be forewarned, lest you be tempted to further deduce: That this Snitty Old Biddy has now resurfaced is insufficient evidence to foretell any frequency.

Inference is an interpretation which goes beyond the information given. Deduction is understanding based on specific evidence.

And an implication, you might ask? An implication is made by the speaker or writer, while an inference is made by the listener.

Which brings to mind a few less specious switcheroos (yes, MLP uses slang. Why not?).

It was reader B. Harris who caught this shameful faux-pas (*sigh*) in this very column. Momentum, not inertia, keeps a sled rolling downhill and words flying from fingertips. Inertia is only fit for statues and writer’s block.

Touché.

Perhaps you’d assumed, Dear Reader, that because your MLP presumes to publicly present a grammar column she has special expertise on the subject. Alas, the truth is less impressive. MLP is merely grammar-obsessed — a mixed affliction of influences by a dictionary-fanatic mother and linguist-daughter.

Assume and presume both mean taking the truth of something for granted, but the level of certainty marks the difference. Assumptions have little certainty, or no proof at all. Presumptions involve either a higher level of certainty based on reasonable proof or evidence, or are, quite frankly, rude.

With comical irony, your MLP urges caution. One who is presumptuous (MLP? never!) fails to observe propriety’s limits or offers unwanted advice.

For all intents and purposes — which have nothing to do with the intensity of purpose, mind you — presumption is arrogance in action. There are no “intensive purposes,” even if occasionally there are intended ones. If a tad redundant.

So while your MLP is oft-tempted to wax supercilious, rein it in she must. She couldn’t “reign” in anything, unless you wish to crown her Grammar Queen, Dear Readers. Then she would happily reign, perhaps “in” a lovely purple cloak with velvet trim, encrusted with emeralds, embroidered with gold, etc.

Kindly note that is not spelled “ect.” The abbreviation etc. is short for “et cetera,” Latin for “and the rest.” Another Latin abbreviation — a favorite of lawyers and MLP alike — is et al., short for et alia, “and others.”

With regard to (or in regard to, but never — shudder — the plural “in regards”) citing Latin, unless you are physically uprooting or parking it someplace you could never “site” it. To cite is to quote or reference something, such as citing your MLP when repeating her cautions. A site is a location, such as a historical or building site, which may also become a verb when a city sites a park near the library (oh precious haven of bibliophiles!).

Neither of these is (the singular “neither” cannot “are”) to be confused with something seen. Correct grammar is a sight for MLP’s very sore eyes.

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Mrs. Language Person and Sholeh Patrick are columnists for the Hagadone News Network. Contact them at Sholeh@cdapress.com.