Thursday, November 07, 2024
33.0°F

The Corona Rules: Part I

| April 17, 2020 1:00 AM

Laughing at stress may be the best way to cope with it.

It’s certainly the cheapest, so here’s a little cheap therapy (source unknown):

1. Basically, you can’t leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.

2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one. It can save you, or someone else, or it’s useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.

3. Stores are closed, except those which are open.

4. You shouldn’t go to hospitals unless you have to. Same applies to doctors, and you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.

5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.

6. Gloves won’t help, or make it worse, but maybe they can still help.

7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it’s important to GET OUTSIDE.

8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but maybe not in the morning. Sometimes.

9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.

10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there. Or was it a frog?

11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my.

12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it’s better not to go out, well, but if you have to ...

• • •

On Saturday, The Corona Rules, Part II.