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Chaos is one busted routine away

| March 17, 2018 1:00 AM

Happy St. Patty’s Day!

And despite what we told you on Friday about all the terrific studies touting the health benefits of beer — green or otherwise — please don’t be a fool and endanger anyone today.

None of that research included being overserved, OK?

Besides, you don’t want to look green in the morning.

•••

Now then, there’s something specific on my mind today, and it has nothing at all to do with St. Patrick, corned beef and cabbage, or anything of the sort.

No, I’m thinking of routines.

We all have them, whether they happen to stick in your mind or not: which route you take to work, where exactly you place your toothbrush on the sink, what day you pick up the dry cleaning, yada, yada.

Even though I have the sort of gig that changes from day to day, naturally I have my own silly little routines, as well.

And here’s the thing …

If something disturbs just one part, things go all to pieces.

Just find a stalled car at that turn you make every morning, and however much you try brushing it off, somewhere in the back of your mind it’s lurking.

What’s more, that voice in your mental closet is going to say: “Things will turn to crap, and all because one damn thing fouled up the routine.”

You know it’s true.

The routine gets disturbed just a tiny bit, and things start to tumble like dominoes. It’s the way of the world, folks.

SO ON Thursday, I went to get my hair cut — or styled, as the artists at Embellish Salon will insist.

The place is on Government Way, just south of Ironwood, so whenever I stop to see stylist Connie Ashcraft, I arrive five minutes early to grab a large cafe mocha at the little espresso hut next door.

I mean … always.

Except that this week, I pulled into the parking lot and found a sign that said Aroma Espresso was closed for some changes, and wouldn’t re-open again until the first week of April.

Now, I did not NEED a large mocha.

But as soon as I realized I had been shut out and my routine was turned upside down, suddenly I craved the caffeine.

I felt a terrible headache. I ached all over. I was probably a bit grumpy with the receptionist.

And of course I’d been just fine a few minutes earlier.

I complained endlessly to Connie about the coffee hut being closed — I mean, there are only another thousand I could have visited if I’d only known — and almost asked her to wait while I drove up to the nearest Starbucks.

EVEN I can’t be that rude, though, so we fought our way through it.

You probably know how the rest of my day bumped along.

Heck, if Gonzaga hadn’t already survived that NCAA Tournament scare before the mocha incident, I’m sure they’d have lost.

Seriously, I had to get home and lie down after the whole experience — over one ridiculous cup of coffee.

Still …

You probably know exactly what I’m saying.

When certain little pieces of the world are disturbed, the whole universe falls smack on your head.

Right?

Nah, don’t even bother to deny it.

I know better.

•••

Steve Cameron is a columnist for The Press.

Email: scameron@cdapress.com.

Facebook: BrandNewDayCDAPress.

Twitter: @BrandNewDayCDA