Two parties, two platforms, lots of jokes

Oh, those wacky Republicans.

And those stoned Democrats.

If you were to judge both parties by recent reports of their respective conventions and platform adoptions, the above conclusions would be perfectly appropriate. There are definitely some eyebrow-raising GOP priorities and some hazy recommendations floating out of the Democrats’ campfire, leading normal human beings to wonder if partisan politics hasn’t gone insane.

But keep in mind that most reports highlighted only the most interesting or unusual adoptions. The Democrats want pot to be legalized and its ensuing state tax revenue directed to public education. That’s bound to go nowhere but from one barstool to another wherever Idahoans gather for a cold drink and a good joke.

Still, the donkey dudes and dudettes put 13 other planks in their 2018 platform. Among them is this one, which might surprise a Republican or 10,000: “We support the full text of the Second Amendment: ‘A well-regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.’” Then again, a caveat or two is included that might not pass NRA muster.

Equality and respect for all Idahoans; an economy that works for all Idahoans; free, safe and equal public education and much more fills out their platform. Check it out for yourself: https://idahodems.org/about/platform/

Across the state the same weekend, Republicans were riveted to a discussion that’s near and dear to every Idahoan. We’re referring, of course, to black aggression against white citizens.

In South Africa.

But there was plenty of other business to address. According to wire reports, resolutions include asking the Idaho Legislature to make city elections partisan and hinder Democratic candidates from winning local races; working to eliminate the Idaho Standards Achievement Test; and eliminating the color blue from the party logo. (Blue being associated with you-know-who.)

In the end, these political festivals are apparently great for team-building and chest-thumping, but deliver limited value elsewhere. The resolutions are as binding as a bad toupee.

Finding the party platforms via internet search proved somewhat interesting in itself. Tracking down the GOP-adopted platform proved prickly and time-consuming.

The Democrats’ decisions, however, came up instantaneously using the same search key words and replacing “Republican” with “Democrat.”

And wouldn’t you know it? The Democratic platform is available in Spanish, too.