The 2018 T-Dub Awards
Everyone in Hollywood wants an Oscar, and most wouldn’t mind a Golden Globe, but there’s only one ceremony that beats them all: The T-Dub Awards.
The T-Dubs celebrate the best of the best in film in categories I make up on the spot. Maybe next year we’ll have a budget for trophies.
My Best Movies of 2018 feature will be coming soon (I need more time to see “Transformers 8”!). In the meantime, please give a round of applause to this year’s T-Dub recipients.
Scene of the Year: Lady Gaga goes onstage to sing “Shallow,” “A Star Is Born”
Most Terrifying Movie Moment: Truth or Dare scene in “Eighth Grade”
Funniest Scene: Removing the bullet, “Game Night”
The “It Really Goes There” Award: The third act of “Sorry to Bother You”
Best Movie Thrown Into a Pointless Political Debate: “First Man”
The Great Start-Terrible Finish Award: “A Star Is Born”
Best Hero Moment: Fred Rogers speaks before Congress, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”
Runner-up: Mile Morales takes the leap, “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse”
Most Powerful Climax: “BlacKkKlansman”
Best Movie You’ve Never Heard of: (Tie:) “Madeline’s Madeline” and “The Sisters Brothers”
Most Unnecessary Sequel: “Sicario: Day of the Soldado”
Funniest Movie: “The Death of Stalin”
Best Blockbuster: “Mission: Impossible — Fallout”
Worst Movie: “Show Dogs”
Best Performance: Olivia Colman, “The Favourite”
Runner-up: Yalitza Aparicio, “Roma”
Best Horse: Lean on Pete in “Lean on Pete”
The “Having Kids Will Make You Crazy” Award: “Tully”
Best Performance in a Mediocre Movie: Cynthia Erivo, “Bad Times at the El Royale”
Love the Performance, Lukewarm on the Movie: Ethan Hawke, “First Reformed”
Best Ensemble: “Widows”
The Pretty Good Even Though We Didn’t Need It Award: “Mary Poppins Returns”
Runner-up: “Halloween”
Best Performance by a Kid: Elsie Fisher, “Eighth Grade”
Runner-up: Amandla Stenberg, “The Hate U Give”
Best Movie People Keep Forgetting: “Annihilation”
Underrated Performance: Kathryn Hahn, “Private Life”
Runner-up: Anna Kendrick, “A Simple Favor”
Best Breakout: John Krasinski directing and starring in “A Quiet Place”
Best Reason to Leave a Digital Trace: “Searching”
Best Reason to Leave No Trace: “Leave No Trace”
Bloodiest (But Still Good): “Revenge”
Too Much Blood: “The Night Comes for Us”
Skateboarding is Art: (Tie:) “Minding the Gap” and “mid90s”
Most Shocking Moment: Car accident, “Hereditary”
No, Really, It’s Good: “Teen Titans Go to the Movies”
Mad I Missed It: The “Suspiria” Remake
Just Give Her an Oscar Already: Amy Adams, “Vice”
Just Give Him an Oscar Already: Spike Lee, “BlacKkKlansman”
The “Yes, She Can Even Do That” Award: Emma Stone, “The Favourite”
The “What Were They Thinking?” Award: “Jurassic Mansion,” I mean, “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom”
Biggest Missed Opportunity: “The Meg”
The “Something Terrible Happened in Post Production” Award: “The Predator”
The “Wish It Played Here Before New Year’s” Award: “If Beale Street Could Talk”
Best Fight Sequence: Bathroom brawl, “Mission: Impossible — Fallout”
Runner-up: Anything involving Okoye, “Black Panther” and “Avengers: Infinity War”
Most Easily Forgotten: (Tie:) “Solo: A Star Wars Story” and “Deadpool 2”
Best Canine Performance: Viola Davis’ dog in “Widows”
Best Cameo: (Redacted) in “The Christmas Chronicles”
Strangest Cameo: Brigitte Nielsen, “Creed II”
Best Musical Moment: The opening story of “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs”
Best Mic Drop: Thor arrives in Wakanda, “Avengers: Infinity War”
Being Rich Seems Fun: “Crazy Rich Asians”
Best Romance: “Love, Simon”
Runner-up: Tom Hardy and alien goo in “Venom”
Best Homage: The Overlook sequence in “Ready Player One”
Best Chase: Helicopter Chase, “Mission: Impossible — Fallout”
Best “Fill in the Blank” Action-Related Award: “Mission: Impossible — Fallout”
Best Duo: Paul Rudd and Evangeline Lilly, “Ant-Man & the Wasp”
Best Villain: Erik Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan), “Black Panther”
The Movie I Don’t Like That Press Readers Will Love: “Green Book”
Movie People Get Mad at Me for Recommending: “Mandy”
The Tessa Thompson Rules Award: “Sorry to Bother You,” “Annihilation,” “Creed II”
The Nicolas Cage Still Rules Award: “Mandy” and “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse”
Stop Saying It’s Overrated: “Roma.”
Movie Made Seemingly Just for Me: “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”
Please Don’t Smell What The Rock is Cooking: “Rampage” and “Skyscraper”
Best Looking Movie: “Roma”
Biggest Hype for Nothing: Netflix’s “surprise” release of “The Cloverfield Paradox”
Strangest Relic of 2018: “Venom”
Best Worst Movie: “The Hurricane Heist”
Biggest Twist: (Tie:) “Shirkers” and “Three Identical Strangers”
Best Guilty Pleasure: “Venom”
My Kids’ Favorite Movie: (Tie:) “The Incredibles II” and “Ralph Wrecks the Internet”
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Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com