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The 2018 T-Dub Awards

by Tyler Wilson Special to
| December 28, 2018 12:00 AM

Everyone in Hollywood wants an Oscar, and most wouldn’t mind a Golden Globe, but there’s only one ceremony that beats them all: The T-Dub Awards.

The T-Dubs celebrate the best of the best in film in categories I make up on the spot. Maybe next year we’ll have a budget for trophies.

My Best Movies of 2018 feature will be coming soon (I need more time to see “Transformers 8”!). In the meantime, please give a round of applause to this year’s T-Dub recipients.

Scene of the Year: Lady Gaga goes onstage to sing “Shallow,” “A Star Is Born”

Most Terrifying Movie Moment: Truth or Dare scene in “Eighth Grade”

Funniest Scene: Removing the bullet, “Game Night”

The “It Really Goes There” Award: The third act of “Sorry to Bother You”

Best Movie Thrown Into a Pointless Political Debate: “First Man”

The Great Start-Terrible Finish Award: “A Star Is Born”

Best Hero Moment: Fred Rogers speaks before Congress, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”

Runner-up: Mile Morales takes the leap, “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse”

Most Powerful Climax: “BlacKkKlansman”

Best Movie You’ve Never Heard of: (Tie:) “Madeline’s Madeline” and “The Sisters Brothers”

Most Unnecessary Sequel: “Sicario: Day of the Soldado”

Funniest Movie: “The Death of Stalin”

Best Blockbuster: “Mission: Impossible — Fallout”

Worst Movie: “Show Dogs”

Best Performance: Olivia Colman, “The Favourite”

Runner-up: Yalitza Aparicio, “Roma”

Best Horse: Lean on Pete in “Lean on Pete”

The “Having Kids Will Make You Crazy” Award: “Tully”

Best Performance in a Mediocre Movie: Cynthia Erivo, “Bad Times at the El Royale”

Love the Performance, Lukewarm on the Movie: Ethan Hawke, “First Reformed”

Best Ensemble: “Widows”

The Pretty Good Even Though We Didn’t Need It Award: “Mary Poppins Returns”

Runner-up: “Halloween”

Best Performance by a Kid: Elsie Fisher, “Eighth Grade”

Runner-up: Amandla Stenberg, “The Hate U Give”

Best Movie People Keep Forgetting: “Annihilation”

Underrated Performance: Kathryn Hahn, “Private Life”

Runner-up: Anna Kendrick, “A Simple Favor”

Best Breakout: John Krasinski directing and starring in “A Quiet Place”

Best Reason to Leave a Digital Trace: “Searching”

Best Reason to Leave No Trace: “Leave No Trace”

Bloodiest (But Still Good): “Revenge”

Too Much Blood: “The Night Comes for Us”

Skateboarding is Art: (Tie:) “Minding the Gap” and “mid90s”

Most Shocking Moment: Car accident, “Hereditary”

No, Really, It’s Good: “Teen Titans Go to the Movies”

Mad I Missed It: The “Suspiria” Remake

Just Give Her an Oscar Already: Amy Adams, “Vice”

Just Give Him an Oscar Already: Spike Lee, “BlacKkKlansman”

The “Yes, She Can Even Do That” Award: Emma Stone, “The Favourite”

The “What Were They Thinking?” Award: “Jurassic Mansion,” I mean, “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom”

Biggest Missed Opportunity: “The Meg”

The “Something Terrible Happened in Post Production” Award: “The Predator”

The “Wish It Played Here Before New Year’s” Award: “If Beale Street Could Talk”

Best Fight Sequence: Bathroom brawl, “Mission: Impossible — Fallout”

Runner-up: Anything involving Okoye, “Black Panther” and “Avengers: Infinity War”

Most Easily Forgotten: (Tie:) “Solo: A Star Wars Story” and “Deadpool 2”

Best Canine Performance: Viola Davis’ dog in “Widows”

Best Cameo: (Redacted) in “The Christmas Chronicles”

Strangest Cameo: Brigitte Nielsen, “Creed II”

Best Musical Moment: The opening story of “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs”

Best Mic Drop: Thor arrives in Wakanda, “Avengers: Infinity War”

Being Rich Seems Fun: “Crazy Rich Asians”

Best Romance: “Love, Simon”

Runner-up: Tom Hardy and alien goo in “Venom”

Best Homage: The Overlook sequence in “Ready Player One”

Best Chase: Helicopter Chase, “Mission: Impossible — Fallout”

Best “Fill in the Blank” Action-Related Award: “Mission: Impossible — Fallout”

Best Duo: Paul Rudd and Evangeline Lilly, “Ant-Man & the Wasp”

Best Villain: Erik Killmonger (Michael B. Jordan), “Black Panther”

The Movie I Don’t Like That Press Readers Will Love: “Green Book”

Movie People Get Mad at Me for Recommending: “Mandy”

The Tessa Thompson Rules Award: “Sorry to Bother You,” “Annihilation,” “Creed II”

The Nicolas Cage Still Rules Award: “Mandy” and “Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse”

Stop Saying It’s Overrated: “Roma.”

Movie Made Seemingly Just for Me: “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”

Please Don’t Smell What The Rock is Cooking: “Rampage” and “Skyscraper”

Best Looking Movie: “Roma”

Biggest Hype for Nothing: Netflix’s “surprise” release of “The Cloverfield Paradox”

Strangest Relic of 2018: “Venom”

Best Worst Movie: “The Hurricane Heist”

Biggest Twist: (Tie:) “Shirkers” and “Three Identical Strangers”

Best Guilty Pleasure: “Venom”

My Kids’ Favorite Movie: (Tie:) “The Incredibles II” and “Ralph Wrecks the Internet”

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Tyler Wilson can be reached at twilson@cdapress.com