Today's ghastly groaner

John Jacobson was the meanest, stingiest, most hate-filled man in town. His funeral was held at the biggest church in town, and every pew was full.

The minister began his eulogy. He praised John’s kindness, generosity and love for all in a long, flowery oration.

About 10 minutes into the speech, half the congregation rose and went up to look into the casket.

The minister stopped speaking and asked, “What are you folks doing?”

“We’re just trying to figure out who this is.”

— Submitted by Jim Mowreader

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Send your groaners to Maureen Dolan, mdolan@cdapress.com.

Remember: Keep ’em clean and don’t be mean.