FAITHFUL OBSERVATIONS Man in the Mirror a bright reflection

We have covered a number of ministries that seek to heal broken people and families. These include chaplains in the jails, people running halfway houses for the addicted and broken, others helping women and children in crisis. In every case when we asked about the root causes of these tragedies, it always pointed back to broken families and a reminder that 40 percent of children in our area don’t live with their biological father. We have fathers who have walked away from their families and parents not willing to make the sacrifices necessary for their children.

Matt Walsh had a recent article that challenged fathers to “Man Up” and be the leaders and providers in their homes. He laid out some general principles that included the following:

1) Never expect more from our wives and our children than we expect from ourselves.

2) Men should demonstrate moral courage (someone who stands out in our decadent, ridiculous culture).

3) We should go to church and pray with our families. Over 60 percent of churchgoers in the average congregation are women, and 25 percent of married Christian women have husbands who won’t go to church with them, and the clear majority of Christian families who have no prayer life or church life at all.

This led us to a fascinating interview with Larry Phelps, area director for the Inland Northwest Chapter of “Man in the Mirror” ministries. We asked Larry some pointed questions about this ministry and its goals.

Larry, can you explain what “Man in the Mirror’ has as its purpose and vision?

Since 1986, Man in the Mirror has worked with more than 25,000 churches and millions of men. In churches today, too many men are absent and uninvolved. Man in the Mirror believes that Christ has called His church to reach men and help them lead powerful, transformed lives. We want to see them be the spiritual leaders in their homes, marriages and churches. Ephesians Chapter 5 gives men a broad challenge to love our wives and families as Christ loved the church.

Men is a broad term. That can mean teenagers to senior citizens. Sons, fathers and grandfathers. Is there a particular age group you are targeting?

Not at all! In the church we tend to put people in “silos” with little interaction and we want to break some of that down. Man in the Mirror in its “No Man Left Behind” model has an all-inclusive way to minister to all men in the church, whether they’re in co-ed groups or not. We also need to prepare young boys to become men. Most cultures recognize this move from boys to men. I believe we have an entire army of wiser, more mature men (I don’t like the “senior citizen” label) to be mentors to younger men. This is a biblical teaching and theme throughout God’s word. All of this means taking the Biblical preaching and teaching we hear and providing application to our lives as husbands and fathers. Similar to an Apostle Paul mentoring Timothy.

How does a church implement a program to accomplish this?

We have learned a lot over the years and what works and what doesn’t. First, we need the lead pastor to take ownership, and support the responsibility/opportunity to men who can take this on. From there we have materials to jumpstart a ministry and get it off the ground in a matter of weeks. Too often many men’s ministries in a church are a very informal breakfast with no long-term effect. Our No Man Left Behind model consists of a create (Value) capture (Momentum) and sustain (Change) process that has been proven highly successful in ministering to men. We want to change men from cultural Christians to Biblical Christian men who will make a difference now and leave a legacy behind when they are gone.

Larry, you cover a broad area in the Inland Northwest. How many churches do you work with?

Since I started five years ago, we have worked with many churches in our area, with each in different stages of development. We also do a golf scramble/dinner every June at Twin Lakes Golf Course, bringing local men together to fellowship, raise funding and awareness. Also hoping to have an annual local men’s retreat/summit next summer that would include several groups of men from various churches.

I am convinced that saving families through committed fathers leading godly families is an answer to many of the challenges we face. If people want more information, how do they get in touch with you?

If people are interested in more than “men’s ministry” but rather a “Ministry of Men,” they can call me at 208-771-0613 or email me at larryphelps@maninthemirror.org.

We would love to visit with anyone interested in this ministry!

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Bob Shillingstad of Coeur d’Alene is a regular contributor to The Press. Email: bjshill@mac.com