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Today's ghastly groaner

| April 20, 2018 1:00 AM

Questions that haunt me

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up like every two hours?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

— Bill Manning, Coeur d’Alene

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Laughter really is the best medicine, so let’s “medicate” together.

Send us your best bad, corny, punny jokes. Keep ’em clean and don’t be mean.

Email your ghastly groaners, with your full name and hometown, to Maureen Dolan at mdolan@cdapress.com