Today's ghastly groaner

- A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.

- The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

- He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

- When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.

- Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.

- Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

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Laughter really is the best medicine, so let’s “medicate” together.

Send us your best bad, corny, punny jokes. Keep ’em clean and don’t be mean.

Email your ghastly groaners, with your full name and hometown, to Maureen Dolan at mdolan@cdapress.com.